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Open Poetry #34
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-11-06 05:54 AM


In my haste of too much ink
dots and spatters
replaced words
bleeding into cross-hatch streams
watercolored puddled tears
warping paper blasphemy
I scryed patterns recognized
pulling stories into view
and levees shored my truth
as I
recognized the river run
mapped within the lines of palm
channeling the gulleys wept
by the child I was
enthralled
by journey of a stick -

I guess I missed the boat.

Perhaps
a taste of too much think
does it matter
Do I slur?
bleeding indigo in reams
princess tossing restlessly
a celebration of the pea
I kept each tear upon a slide
examined under diligence
of the ever watchful eye
as I
magnified the scope to find
pieces of me kindly kept
in a mirror slightly bent
in curtsey of the pretty lie--

I should learn to say goodbye
just once
within that nick of time
just before the door
of greet

kicks me in the ass, goodbye.

Fairy-tales are not for me.
Slippers made of glass are just
another journey perilous...

Blood and mud and dung and piss
make a fine footprint of this--
following a stick in float
lost within a revery

The ocean is a memory
of everything I cannot have.
Happy ever after, I,
tell it to the Brothers Grimm

laughing at absurdity
mother reads her child to sleep
happy ever after dreams
in haste of waste of ink.

© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2004-11-06 07:12 AM


"Perhaps
a taste of too much think
does it matter"

"I kept each tear upon a slide
examined under diligence
of the ever watchful eye
as I
magnified the scope to find
pieces of me kindly kept
in a mirror slightly bent
in curtsey of the pretty lie--"

"Happy ever after, I,
tell it to the Brothers Grimm"

Wow ... this piece grabbed a hold of me right at the beginning and swept me right through to the end, Karen. I love the vantage you've written this from. Fantasies woven and dreams promised vs. what is reality to most of us. An excellent write.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-11-06 07:26 AM


Perhaps
a taste of too much think
does it matter

~*~

Your ability to always reach right in
and grab the reader is only becoming
better...you are honing your craft,

you are preparing for flight!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2004-11-06 08:34 AM


Wondermous m'lady....you always leave me speechless.



Mxx

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-11-06 10:57 AM


Karen

"by the child I was
enthralled
by journey of a stick -"

you still are....me too!  


Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

5 posted 2004-11-06 11:00 AM


As I was reading this, I was thinking this belongs in a book - awesome!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-11-06 11:01 AM


"I should learn to say goodbye
just once
within that nick of time
just before the door
of greet

kicks me in the ass, goodbye."


yeah...me too

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
7 posted 2004-11-06 01:39 PM


I have only one question?  All this came from us talking about Princess And The Pea?  Or, did this happen first and then we talked about the Princess?  LOL, either way we won!  Loverly ma Cajun Caween.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2004-11-06 02:18 PM


serenity,
Reminds me of the saying, of the jug that is shattered in a thousand pieces, which is the lucky piece? Excellent write.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-11-06 03:23 PM


smiling at Mysteria---yes'm, now THIS one was indeed partially inspired by our conversation--the first stanza was inspired by our Capt. Ron. *hugs*

and Kit? I'm always thrilled when you pop in. Thank you lovely lady, and I hope you had a wonderful time in Disney. *hugs*

Kari? I've been so muddled of late I don't know what is going on in my head anymore. I'm just bored with myself, I suppose and you know me--snort--I am DANGEROUS when I'm bored. *hugs*

Luscious Maree? With you way with your words, you should never be rendered speechless.

Martie? *laughing* I'm certainly glad I didn't scare you away the other day. *wink*
Thanks, hun, for reading me. It's always an honor.

Dixie? Sometimes I just wanna hug you so hard, lady. Please be well and happy.

Seymour, giggling here, I used to think that any piece at all would be an act of fortune. But a piece of you would be priceless treasure.

thanks all for reading as I struggle through the mind med writer's block again.

I love you all. *blowing kisses*



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 2004-11-06 03:39 PM


If this is writers block, can I have some too? A journey into your mind is a fantastic voyage! Nice to read you Ms. Serenity.
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
11 posted 2004-11-06 08:27 PM


"Perhaps
a taste of too much think
does it matter"

it does. yes, it does

you caress me... in letters joined together in words, thanks...h

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2004-11-06 08:37 PM


Only ink you've ever wasted would have to have come from a spilled bottle - - - even then it probably would have been a hell'uva blot!

jwesley

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
13 posted 2004-11-06 08:38 PM


"guess I missed the boat"
well, if you did?
it must have been a leaky unsound boat
some days, I think I should turn over my inkwell and parchment to you

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2004-11-06 10:25 PM


In my haste of too much ink
dots and spatters
replaced words
bleeding into cross-hatch streams
watercolored puddled tears
warping paper blasphemy
I scryed patterns recognized
pulling stories into view
and levees shored my truth
as I
recognized the river run
mapped within the lines of palm
channeling the gulleys wept
by the child I was
enthralled
by journey of a stick -

I guess I missed the boat.

Perhaps
a taste of too much think
does it matter
Do I slur?
bleeding indigo in reams
princess tossing restlessly
a celebration of the pea
I kept each tear upon a slide
examined under diligence
of the ever watchful eye
as I
magnified the scope to find
pieces of me kindly kept
in a mirror slightly bent
in curtsey of the pretty lie--

I should learn to say goodbye
just once
within that nick of time
just before the door
of greet

kicks me in the ass, goodbye.

====================================

I read this outloud this morning and was GIDDDDDDDDDY!!!
FIST POUNDING ROCK AND ROLL DADUMS
YOU ARE CADENCE & ASSONANCE DEFINED....
and THEN lets talk about metaphor and symbolism and personification...

bleeding into cross-hatch streams
watercolored puddled tears
warping paper blasphemy
I scryed patterns recognized
pulling stories into view
and levees shored my truth
as I
recognized the river run
mapped within the lines of palm
~~~~~~~

bleeding indigo in reams
princess tossing restlessly
a celebration of the pea
I kept each tear upon a slide
examined under diligence
of the ever watchful eye
as I
magnified the scope to find
pieces of me kindly kept
in a mirror slightly bent
in curtsey of the pretty lie--

I should learn to say goodbye


~~~~
say it with me baby...........
GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


yayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya

Poetry is emotion put into measure.
The emotion comes by nature ...
but the measure is acquired by art.

Thomas Hardy


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

15 posted 2004-11-07 03:58 AM


copperbell?

Please forgive me lovie, I didn't intend to slight you. A book? smile...they terrify me,  but I appreciate the compliment.

Sharon? Laughing here. I'm not sure you'd like to have whatever it is I'm having. (I don't even know how to spell the stuff, but it sure leaves me flat-lining. Did I mention how wonderful it is to have you home? (Though Ali says I'm still a squatter...giggling)

Helen? only hugs will do.

j.wesley? I'd love a graveyard picnic. *hugs*
thank you

Kacy--should you turn over your inkwell, I would snort it with a straw and return it to your pen. You, m'lady, are something special.

and Janet? I do not know how you do this. You find something fresh and encouraging to say to me everytime. Replies are HARD, and obviously, I have difficulties with replies to replies!!! You are the classiest act at Pip, m'twin.

And to all of you, I realize I don't often enough thank you all individually, but the truth is I feel awkward taking bows.

Please know that I read and cherish every bit of input, and value all constructive critique.

Hugs...and love to all.

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
16 posted 2004-11-07 04:43 PM


Okay ... you once told me you were studying me for the rhyme thing.  Well, truth be known, I am studying yours as well cause this free verse  (you'd think I loved the no rules part of it) still makes me feel like I am in a different dimension.  I worry about line breaks to the point of twitching eyebrows and that sort of stuff.  Anyway, to the point ... your works always flow as fluid as a thought in the middle of a dream and you always lace it up with original and unique phrases, lines, and thoughts.  Absolutely a superb poem from you AGAIN.  Loved it and well you know ... the BK and AWH things too.  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

17 posted 2004-11-08 12:06 PM


had to come back to this gem....
such an impressive write KA..truly.

bleeding indigo in reams

man i love that line....


and I am so glad you do what you do.



littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
18 posted 2004-11-08 07:20 PM


Jesus, this really stung:

Fairy-tales are not for me.
Slippers made of glass are just
another journey perilous...


and everything after it . . .

so true Karen, My God
How you do this, I shall never know
but will gladly enjoy it.

devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
19 posted 2004-11-08 07:48 PM


Preach on sis... I won't even quote my fav parts...this is extreme and? this is you and us my love...

say we write a drama together for next time the rain smacks a face?   This is beautiful as are you... MISS YOU

hugs from bulky prego
~D


Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
20 posted 2004-11-08 10:29 PM


"Waste of ink"

Yeah yeah, sure sure, Mm hmm.

Waste away m'witch....I'll send more

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
21 posted 2004-11-09 03:04 AM


Considering how many days (not hours) I've gone without sleep right now, this was awfully confusing the first time through. But I fell in love with it on my second and third read. Too many awesome lines to be able to quote them all. How do you do this stuff? Err... probably best not to answer that. But still...

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
22 posted 2004-11-09 09:08 AM


Your words reminded me of how long I've been wasting ink... it started with sticks and leaves and berry juices. LOL

No, lady, you don't slur... your words are clear... and touch the heart... excellent!!

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

23 posted 2004-11-09 09:14 AM


serenity

this reaches out and grabs the reader by the eyes, your words are incredibly woven, clean cut and clear...with timely beating....rest assure...not at all a waste of ink...smiles and hugs

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