Annette’s Poem - pipTalk Forums

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Open Poetry #34

Annette’s Poem

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant

since 2004-10-12

Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2004-11-01 08:55 PM

You know
there’s a problem—
when you begin to feel
fortunate

A sigh of relief
that someone left
lucky
despite the heart

a present morning
in an absence
waking up
happier
for the void

It is the curse
of consciousness

trust destroyed
being dead
no longer wonders
thinks
or cares
if ever
there was life

I walk on streets lined with corpses

unaware
of who they were—

once
within
my faith

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

1 posted 2004-11-01 08:57 PM

This is your best yet in my estimation..

Very, very well written and worded.

jwesley

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2004-11-01 09:00 PM

dang! I always tried to figure out how to write that...glad you did it

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

3 posted 2007-05-15 12:27 PM

"You know
there’s a problem—
when you begin to feel
fortunate" here go the value of the person.

war so deeply branded. sigh!

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