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Open Poetry #34
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A Subject Matter
| Open Poetry #34 |
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A Subject Matter |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Writing past midnight The light shines At the end of the night stand Wrapped in cocoons we sleep miles from the other Me here and you there---on your side Of the bed I appreciate the space, Should I? Perhaps there's another that occupies Your mind, a lover whom you adore One that sports black walnut hair And delicate roses inked on her skin Leave the details uncovered, That would complicate The complacency---I want no Clues that I'll discover I need to believe when you Say----I’m, the only one |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
“I am too close to be dreamt of by him. I do not fly over him, do not escape from him under the roots of a tree. I am too near. . . … He sleeps, more accessible now to her, seen but once, a cashier of a wandering circus with one lion, than to me, who am at his side. For her now in him a valley grows, rusty-leaved, closed by a snowy mountain in dark blue air. I am too near to fall to him from the sky. My scream could wake him up. Poor thing I am, limited to my shape, I who was a birch, who was a lizard, who would come out of my cocoons shimmering the colours of my skins. Who possessed the grace of disappearing from astonished eyes, which is a wealth of wealths. I am near, too near for him to dream of me. I slide my arm from under the sleeper’s head and it is numb, full of swarming pins, on the tip of each, waiting to be counted, the fallen angels sit.” From: I am too close... Wislawa Szymborska |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yeah, I know what this feels like good write, sad |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Haun Yi---I've never read the poem, which is much better than mine, but interesting the similarities. Thank you! *smile* Passing shadows, although I hate to know you know how it feels, I appreciate your comments. Atov~ |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Wrapped in cocoons we sleep miles from the other Me here and you there---on your side Of the bed a great write! M |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Thanks nt,......sometimes miles can be extremely close, yet far away! ~Atov |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"Wrapped in cocoons we sleep miles from the other Me here and you there---on your side Of the bed" ~ Powerfully emotive, visual ~ and symbolic. I felt every word of your poem. A very fine write that impacts on this reader's emotions as it brought back some painful memories. Loving hugs, EA |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
A Tone of Voice The choice is yours, good write. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Atov... a very well done subject that matters... |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Kinda bluesy, but very very good. Brings back a memory of decades ago... Thanx |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
This is an excellent write. I could feel the emotions in it... and I have felt this before, even though I don't now. I am so thankful for that because it's a very hurtful feeling. Now, my Love and I feel close even when we are apart. He and I have a long distance relationship. The lonliness is very painful sometimes, but still not as painful as the feelings you described in your poem. I didn't mean to write a book. LOL Hugs, Ethel |
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A Tone of Voice Member
since 2001-07-18
Posts 287 |
Earth Angel---I'm glad you get feel it, isn't that why we write? Thank you! Seymour T---Aren't they always, choices I mean? Thanx *smile* Sunshine--It pleases me that it was subject matter that mattered to you! *S* Magnus--I'm glad the emotion experienced was long ago. *S* Thank you. gary'sgirl---it's dark times that make us appreciate the light. It's good your basking in positive ~now~ ! Thank you! |
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