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Open Poetry #34
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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2004-12-01 10:57 PM



You brought wine and chocolates
the days we met;
it ran the gamut
from godiva to goobers
and the vineyards of italia
to the grapes of the golden state,

i was never one for labels,
though i had you jump through tougher hoops
to prove your good intentions,

you found me when i was pinafored
wearing braids that still hung brown,
and i caught you in the butterfly's net
where we played on green fields,
between black asphalt, in
a citykid's suburbia,

you caught me later in the future tense,
pulling me out of the cyberoceans;
i was like an old crackerjack prize
that you thought you had discarded,

it's been a mixed bag of calendar clicks
since we shared smiles and did the wild thing,
and i'm singing the low notes here
of "i miss you' since this hit a sour note,
the day your stubborn pride slammed the door
on my "i'm so sorries"

(and the fact that you thought i had never loved you)

i won't bleed a red sea of roses for you,
but just wonder if you still take a peek
every now and then, to voyeur in and
watch me on this stage of my neverending dramas,

and if you're reading me, let me point to poems
numbered l0, l5 and 33,
and if that's not of you, then who, i say?


choose what you may, if time could rewind,
i'd want to dropkick, then smother you
with girliegirl kisses back into that sandbox again,

but i'll play the role of the lady this time,

so have it your way,

however, i choose to remember,
that for our one glorious moment,
my dear, i know that you,
had loved me, true.



[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (12-03-2004 10:46 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 inkedgoddess - All Rights Reserved
Don_Juan
Member
since 2004-04-08
Posts 252
Far from where I am going
1 posted 2004-12-01 11:00 PM


Beautiful and captivating write filled with a little bti of sourness and sorrow. Loved every line. Thanks for the read

nice use of muffin

aim= FlyingScrew. message me if you feel.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2004-12-01 11:12 PM


wow, Mish, I can picture him going back to read the ones you say were for him
and though I don't know him, I hear his sigh  

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
3 posted 2004-12-02 12:22 PM


Owie - this aches - sadness -

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-12-02 05:16 AM


you're good at sadness
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-12-02 09:13 AM


oh and so much more than just the sadness..

it's the power of love, laughter, pride and longing...

A wonderful, colorful mix of them all..

You tell the story so very, very well.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-12-02 09:16 AM


Ouch!  I really hope he goes back and reads the poems that were for him...
Sometimes it just never sinks in for them!  Right?
Love ya pretty lady~

~ Let peace begin with me... ~

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
7 posted 2004-12-02 07:31 PM


thanks for reading
yep, sometimes they're clueless

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2004-12-03 01:43 AM


Sometimes it takes nerves of steel and a face beyond blushing, to write a poem that needs to be written. This is one of those....and I hope it strikes home. I'm gonna bump it, just in case it was missed.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-12-03 03:29 AM


You brought wine and chocolates
the days we met;
it ran the gamut
from godiva to goobers
and the vineyards of italia
to the grapes of the golden state,

i was never one for labels,
though i had you jump through tougher hoops
to prove your good intentions,

you found me when i was pinafored
wearing braids that still hung brown,
and i caught you in the butterfly's net
where we played on green fields,
between black asphalt, in
a citykid's suburbia,


I'm absolutely loving what's coming from your pen of late 'goddess'

waiting for more

Maree.

P.S sending this fantabulous poem to my library.

into this night i wonder, it's morning that i dread, another day of knowing of, the path i fear to tread.
~Sarah McLachlan~

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2004-12-03 05:14 AM


you caught me later in the future tense,

it's been a mixed bag of calendar clicks


two lines that I especially love...

a great write Michele...
full of emotion

M

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
11 posted 2004-12-03 06:35 AM


thanks for reading and relating; and thanks
Rat for bumping...and yes, so i've been told....i do have a pair

kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
12 posted 2004-12-03 09:44 AM


Someday, someone will solve the love mystery, put it in a bottle and sell it.  Until then, understanding never comes.  Well written.  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2004-12-03 10:50 AM


nice write
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
14 posted 2004-12-03 11:01 AM


I enjoyed the language, the images the wonder of the "happy"  piece of this, then you brought me into your sorrow, too well, I might add...I want to hang onto the idea of your "girlie girl kisses" being savored, favored in the new future

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

bklynboy
Senior Member
since 2002-12-15
Posts 660
florida
15 posted 2004-12-13 10:03 PM


Sometimes clueless, sometimes enlightened.
Very nice....thoughtful, touching, soul bearing,,,,,,like it all.

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
16 posted 2004-12-13 10:16 PM


[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (12-14-2004 06:54 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
17 posted 2004-12-13 11:18 PM


Enjoyed...James
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
18 posted 2004-12-14 01:25 AM


sigh...no matter how much of your poetry I read a small part of my heart is always captivated by your amazing imagery and ability to make words float up to me from the screen...This piece was so pure and bittersweet...I loved it.
~Live and Laugh~

Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down.
~Bella~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

19 posted 2004-12-14 07:47 AM


there are no words that I could write here other then, agreeing with all of the above.
Tremendous write

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
20 posted 2004-12-14 08:27 AM


yo inky!
see I told ya so
your armor has soft hinges
looks good on ya


Daniel Storm
Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 91
New York
21 posted 2004-12-14 05:43 PM


This is a good read. I felt the emotion in it and wanted to put that happy ending in there for you....(I'm not that far from Brooklyn but I won't crit)
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
22 posted 2004-12-14 07:08 PM


Michelle, this really touched my heart. I
could feel it, lady.....I hope that he will read
it and feel it, too.
Hugs,
Ethel

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
23 posted 2004-12-15 08:00 AM



thanks,
glad to say he did

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

24 posted 2004-12-16 12:52 PM


"yep, sometimes their clueless."

so correct you are dear gal.   This was so honest, and so powerful...

incredible...

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