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Open Poetry #34
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Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal

0 posted 2004-11-24 09:33 PM


It is bright here
In the light
And I stand
Bare and exposed
Beneath the harsh cast
Of undiffused white
Blinded by the glare
Of would be perfection

There –
Not but a dash away
A stand of trees
With steel feel trunks
And limbs of man hands
Dappled and beautiful
Givers of shade
And relief from the heat
Soothers of the burn

I sweat
Tears drops of lamentation
Into a pool of could be
A river of wanna be
Of salted water
And if wishes were fishes
They would swim that stream
And head for the trees
And the fresh water there

I look at my feet
But they are planted in soil
And little sprigs
Of runners sprout
Dependent ‘til they stand on their own
And bloom independent
Of my care
And I must shade them
From the glare

I wipe my brow
Straighten my back
This strain I will bear
For tender shoot sake
But the tree line
Reminds me
There is shade in the world
And dappled leaves
Of beauty

s.a.t.

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

© Copyright 2004 s.a.t. - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-11-25 01:14 AM


a beautiful write
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2004-11-25 08:21 AM


perhaps a shadow will come
from some loving sky
and give your cover
for the moment lives
for your yearn tree
to grow strong


felt you here babe

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2004-11-25 08:25 AM


Susan, I felt and envisioned every emotive word! The finest ink flows from your illustrious pen!

Love & Light,
Linda

stevebrklynnyc
Member
since 2004-01-04
Posts 292
GA, Camden
4 posted 2004-11-25 09:25 AM


A beautiful poem written with feeling.  Enjoyed very much.  Steve.
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2004-11-25 09:27 AM


A river of wanna be
Of salted water
And if wishes were fishes
They would swim that stream


i hear your plea
and if wishes were fishes
o yes if only if only
i say that about the leaves
if leaves were dollars
if wishes were fishes
if we could keep the moment
if only

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2004-11-25 01:29 PM


Your warmth - your kind words - PIP is truly a place for a heart to know compassion - thank you all for your encouragement -

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

7 posted 2004-11-25 03:47 PM


Susan

When I read your excellent words, I think that is how I should write to get published.

Then I let myself roll over me and I know you have such talent and I should try to write like that, but I suppose I just love the fun of being an idiot in my writing and my thoughts and when I write always think of Thomas Hood.

Excellent words as always.

Dave

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2004-11-25 07:01 PM


Bravo Susan!

Truly touching.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
9 posted 2004-11-25 09:08 PM


Well done Susan...and may you have a very
nice Thanksgiving on this day when we are
in a world where it carries such a high
price.

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
10 posted 2004-11-26 12:07 PM


Thank you my friends - and yes - yesterday was a day of thanksgiving - of framily - of joy - hope all of you had a good day too -

Dave - you are too kind, really - and I understand your thoughts - for I felt much the same not long ago - admiring others and their style - but then I realized, it is our own voices we must speak - and yours is quirky fun - that is a good thing   Relish your voice -

Hugs all - Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
11 posted 2004-11-26 03:26 PM


Lovely write...

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*   My Journal
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
12 posted 2004-11-26 06:12 PM


NIce...James
NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
13 posted 2004-11-26 07:06 PM


Excellent write. I loved it.

hugs, Marti

A single sunbeam is enough to drive away many shadows.
–St. Francis of Assisi

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
14 posted 2004-11-26 07:44 PM


"But the tree line
Reminds me
There is shade in the world
And dappled leaves
Of beauty"

yes....
enjoyed this

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
15 posted 2004-11-26 07:47 PM


Susan, this is fantastic!  Hope you're well.   ....jo
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
16 posted 2004-11-26 10:03 PM


Thank you my friends - most kindly -

And Jo - so good to see your name - hope you drop in more often - miss you

Hugs all - Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
17 posted 2004-11-26 10:29 PM


Susan

Dappled light is my favorite!  I enjoyed the uplifting from this poem.  

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2004-11-27 01:02 AM


Touching, beautiful write!
I enjoyed the read very much.

Eric

Ain't doin nothin at all
Just answerin the call
Kinda driftin away from it all~~~~~

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
19 posted 2004-11-27 06:43 AM


A mixture of reality and illusion...I was going to say...but wait...Is there really a difference?

A poets metaphors (illusions) can take a reader on journeys, can hold their minds hand, and lead them through the crack between those two worlds...Metaphors have always made me see the "real" world more clear...

Well done, Susan...thank you for  holding my minds-hand, and the journey.

__________ice/ford
      ><>

­­
­

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
20 posted 2004-11-27 05:29 PM


Thank you my friends - for your kindness -

Ford - a good friend of mine and I were just having the conversation about what is a real moment and what is not - and that what is thought of as real is not the reality, but the moments that carry the dream like quality that are our true selves and therefore the most real - make sense?

Thank you for your comments, I enjoyed them-

Hugs all -  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

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