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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-11-19 08:20 AM

coffee man has bicycle fingers
pedals his soot
to the sneezing trees

says the spirits need fuel
and what man wastes
is the birth earth seed

yesterday he was khaki
with a leather toupee
march foot mud on his spats

he walked the marble floors
and left his crosses on boxes
and jingled the change

in other men's pockets

_____________
Dark

(scribblenote:does it sound political, geeze I hope not.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-11-19 08:39 AM

Not political...

social commentary, yes...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2004-11-19 08:40 AM

Dark,
A mixed bag of symbols could be anything.
LOL

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

3 posted 2004-11-19 09:45 AM

...genius...

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2004-11-19 09:46 AM

yesterday he was khaki
with a leather toupee
march foot mud on his spats

he walked the marble floors
and left his crosses on boxes
and jingled the change

in other men's pockets
nicely written amigo... could be political or any of a number of things once one reads and looks at what lies within the lines..as well as under them.. in any case...it is good writing..and something I enjoyed

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2004-11-19 11:15 AM

Dark - and here I thought you were talking about Juan Valdez

hehe

No, really - this was well written and well said -

Hugs - Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

6 posted 2004-11-19 11:24 AM

ok ok...was based on some images from WW1 and the current situation....overlaying some of the word graphics to measure how far we have come or not. thanks gang for the eyes

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

7 posted 2004-11-19 01:04 PM

a delightful read for its rhythms and word-play

yet a 2nd read sinks one deeper finding that it is filled with playful nibbles that sometimes bite hard at humanity's nature and lack of "growth"

I especially like how Cpat stated his response to your powerful musing.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

8 posted 2004-11-19 02:16 PM

enjoyed

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

9 posted 2004-11-19 02:35 PM

I love this and I don't know why. The symbolism is deep and I know I'm not getting it all, because I'm a simple soul. But I love the way it's put together and the way it sounds and the scenes it paints on my eyelids.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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