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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Smoke and whiskey play games on his breath With exaggerated gesticulations Of longing And anger As he flings A stuffed bear across the room I can only watch And fear that the gesture was meant for myself Leave The single word I cannot say For so often before My loneliness has welcomed him Leave The word that will set me free From the invisible hand He holds around my neck The bear is back in his arms Cradled now Embraced lovingly An action I assume Could have been myself As well Hollow words of devotion and truth Fall from his sour lips And I bite mine- Pain to keep from acknowledging pain As any weakness will turn to advantage Leave But my mouth only laughs Nervously as I watch him Lay with my bear cuddled to his chest Leave But the tears in my throat Control my voice Choke my words Leave The single word I cannot say Because he's staring into my eyes He takes my hand And wins again |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jannel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Wow...nice description of a fatal attraction. James |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
It also can be perceived like an addiction. You know he/she is bad for you but still you can't give up, you want more, more, MORE!! Well done  There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Leave The single word I cannot say For so often before My loneliness has welcomed him Leave The word that will set me free From the invisible hand He holds around my neck ----------------------- jannel, this poem takes my words...what you describe and express here is so full of fear and pain's emotions...and the imagery is stark and chilling...the use of the bear, made me understand the underlying meaning of the poem(in my mind anyway) take care, jm and you can say baby... baby can I hold you tonight maybe if told you the right words... at the right time, you'd be mine... baby can I hold you tonight... tracy chapman |
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KimW Member
since 2000-03-04
Posts 268Medford, Oregon, USA |
*Speechless* |
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Broken Wings Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157Miami, FL. |
Very Powerful it is so hard to tell someone to leave or even make yourself leave...when they have such a strong hold on you. GREAT WORK!! take care, Broken Wings "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth." -IYANLA VANZANT |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
This was a piece I found while going through an old folder, and is based on a (recurring) true story. Thankfully, one day, I did tell him to go, but I lost a friend in the process. Kim and Broken, thank you for you kind words. Janet, the bear part is actually quite humorous looking back, though at the time, it most certainly was not. I wish I had a picture to circulate around this boy's fraternity house of him clutching my Pooh bear. Isis and James, I never really thought of the relationship that way, but both are very true. Thank ou all for your replies.jannel Dont wake the dead, Wake the dying, Don't change what you've said, Change what you're saying. |
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Aiden Kelly Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 148Ft. Wayne, IN USA |
WOW!!! this is such a powerful piece!!!! the bear, the < |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I can understand when you said you lost a friend...I feel that myself when I told someone to leave...and yet they were only using me..this is not really the kind of friendship I desire..if I am so desperate that all of my friends are only those that use me I have a problem. And still I am sad because I lost a friend. James |
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