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Dark Poetry #1
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StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas

0 posted 2000-03-18 06:11 PM


Thoughts keep running
through my brain
My heart's beating fast
I cannot breathe
Yet somehow I am
supposed to believe...
"Things will be okay"
"You'll be just fine"
"You think you have problems,
how about I give you mine"
My hands are shaking
I can't make it go away
I'm fighting a losing battle,
I can't seem to win
What did I do so wrong ?
Why do I have to pay??
I've got to hold on
I just can't give in...
"There's nothing wrong with you
it's all in your head"
"You're not alive,
you're already dead"
I have to get away from here
I want to go right now
Every day I feel myself slipping
a little farther away
But I'm powerless I can't do a thing,
I can't figure out how!!
I've got to leave, I've got to go ,
there's got to be  a way
But I'm to weak to end it all
so here I'm stuck to stay




 ~*Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear*~



© Copyright 2000 Shan Crider - All Rights Reserved
demonic~angel
Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 54
Kansas
1 posted 2000-03-18 06:20 PM


Your words speak to me...they always do...wonderfully written...It seems like we are so alike...Hang in there

*huggz*

 Messenger of fear in sight
Dark deception kills the light
~Metallica~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-03-18 07:05 PM


Starr..this is SO great...perfect...the conflicting conversation is so creative and very effective. the emotions of the poem are perfect as well...I know so many people like this, who listen but dont really HEAR...
thats why i prefer poetry..it talks to me without talking back  
take care, jm

 Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be
jackson browne



Aiden Kelly
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 148
Ft. Wayne, IN USA
3 posted 2000-03-19 01:18 AM


i'm glad you are too weak to eand it all!  i like you just the way you are!  and you are perfectly normal to have problems and they are extremely important.  everyone should be willing to listen!  if you ever need a listening ear...come find me -- you talk i listen!  no worries, mate!     i hope you feel better!  it scares me when others feel this way b/c i've been there.  very well written as always!!    you really know how to put words down on paper, let me tell you!!!    keep it up!
StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
4 posted 2000-03-19 02:10 AM


DA ((((Hugzzz))))) ty  

Janet Marie - thanks ... I prefer poetry for exactly th esame  reason  

Aiden Kelly- thank you for the offer and commenting on my poem  

 "A poet is one who spends a lifetime standing out in thunderstorms, waiting to be hit by lightning"
~Randal Jarrell~



kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
5 posted 2000-03-19 05:07 AM


simple yet this is so powerful...it shows evidently the desperation of the poet and how he is trapped in a small cage,thinking he may be going mental..... ")


Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
6 posted 2000-03-19 05:14 AM


starr
great  poem.  i liked it very much.  i know how it is to feel stuck.  for i am stuck myself.  for the one i love is 500 miles away and i have no money or way to get to her.  so i am stuck.  great work.  hopefully we will both get unstuck someday.


 Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel is just a frieght train coming your way...
MetallicA


dhuron
Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476

7 posted 2000-03-19 08:50 AM


Your Poem has great emotional depth.  It moved me.  You are very talented.


StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
8 posted 2000-03-20 07:18 AM


kaile- thanks  

Jesse- hopefully we will get unstuck  ... know exactly  where you are right now ...never  give up hope!!!  

dhuron- thanks  glad you liked it  

 "A poet is one who spends a lifetime standing out in thunderstorms, waiting to be hit by lightning"
~Randal Jarrell~



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
9 posted 2000-03-21 11:10 PM


Starr, we all have these conversations. . . I know that I do. . . and sometimes, I wish that I didn't. . . I hate talking to myself. . .but it's the only way that I listen to myself. .

Excellent words, my friend. . .

----------------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


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