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Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA

0 posted 2000-02-28 01:00 AM



This uses at least one of the same lines, but is a completely different approach to the theme.

Barefoot and dancing (II)

Arms- outstretched- welcome Sunshine
Toes make love to the ground
Twirl Glide Sway Spin
To notes and rhythms
Delighted muses play in her head
Feet flitter among buttercups
Until girl and flower are indiscernible separately

Barefoot and dancing
What a way to live

Or to love

Feel the earth kiss your heels
And the grass whisper to your toes
And give into pure feeling
Careful doesn't count
When you're melting into buttercups


 "I'm just saying
that we've mistaken one
for thousands of words,
and for that mistake
I've caused you such pain
that I damn that word."
-10000 Maniacs "Jezebel"



© Copyright 2000 Jannel - All Rights Reserved
Walter Poe
Senior Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 787

1 posted 2000-02-28 06:58 AM


Very different kind of poem

I am more used to the darker poems but well done

walter

 Pride of place in the human race goes to one without a trace,
of subtlety style ego or grace for this position, I wish to say, i would be proud as i am greater than any other face in the crowd


danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
2 posted 2000-02-28 12:12 PM


i liked both approaches just about the same. sometimes i do think we are too careful in life. usually with the wrong things. well done.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-02-28 12:46 PM


Jannel, these are both very good...I think this one is my pick of the two...which one was yours?
I do this too, sometimes...I'll write one poem and it spawns off another.
great job...

 She says baby,
It's 3am I must be lonely,
When she says baby,
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes,
Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it.
Matchbox20

I love you baby... always.*



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
4 posted 2000-02-28 09:14 PM


Have you ever walked barefoot in the rain?  Maybe you should. .. I know that I'm going outside right now!

Again, wonderful.. . I like them both!!

---------------------------------------------

 That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl


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