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Open Poetry #32
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brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa

0 posted 2004-05-06 11:57 PM



I had been animate...
but
       cold
  and
           grey
                 inside

zombi-
   in the trackless Parking Lot

dodging eyes
and runaway pain...

  hacking the overgrown beliefs
                            of others
with machetes of shy conviction

....(and the powerful will rebound with sound)...
on a powerful downswing
I hit
        an iron wall

the vibration the reverse
of heart
attack
it took
my heart in
      
        it's beautiful hands

and bid me enter
the enclosure

inside...
           the sun
        the fields
     the grain
from furrowed brow

      I found myself wincing
at the footprints I left
on such fertile ground
but
     the shoots of green

they
       whispered
to me...

       you do not trod...
          you sow
  

and in my rot
there was
rebirth

and in my heart
    
      a sound

    

© Copyright 2004 brian sites - All Rights Reserved
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
1 posted 2004-05-07 12:06 PM


brian

Thinking reverse here....pave parking lot put in a field of green.  Uplifting words...made me heart glad.  Thank you!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-05-07 02:54 AM


good to see you again
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-05-07 06:38 AM



So many images...
so many thoughts in here...
so glad to say
welcome home!

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2004-05-07 07:02 AM


Hi Brian. I like all your poem, as usual, but
this part stood out at me......

the vibration the reverse
of heart
attack
it took
my heart in
      
        it's beautiful hands

and bid me enter
the enclosure


Hugs,
Ethel

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2004-05-07 07:16 AM


hacking the overgrown beliefs
                            of others
with machetes of shy conviction
========================

what a very cool analogy and personification.
Unique and clever imagery in this creative write.
Welcome back groovy guy.

Cant believe you need me, never thought I would be needed for anything.
Cant believe my shoulders carry such important weight as your tears.

N.F.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-05-07 12:40 PM


The entire writing was brilliant.

These being my favorite lines:

"hacking the overgrown beliefs
                            of others
with machetes of shy conviction"


We need to see you more often!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-05-07 04:44 PM


beautiful, you...


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2004-05-07 04:49 PM


"and in my rot
there was
rebirth

and in my heart
    
      a sound"

Welcome back!!  So very much enjoyed!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
9 posted 2004-05-07 11:08 PM


thank you all for your kindness
I hope to be around more
if my hours can
just
cooperate


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

10 posted 2004-05-07 11:50 PM


This is simply beautiful Brian, glad I came across it.

Maree

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!


Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
11 posted 2004-05-08 01:25 AM


I can't begin to describe how great it is to see you and your words again, welcome back
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