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Open Poetry #32
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Molting
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Molting |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief 
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Moving slowly across Rough edges of reality And other identified misconceptions Of individual perception The serpent deliberately Tears and rips it’s skin Leaving traces and clues, on every jagged edge and imaginary line. It undresses from itself And is born new. |
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| © Copyright 2004 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Indeed it does...Enjoyed this very much.  Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
A very good one, enjoyed much! |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
Very nice, Ef. Very nice indeed. Short, sweet, and to the point. I have one question and one suggestion. #1. You never really identify what the serpent is. I think you could really slam dunk this one if you'd give the reader some idea of what "breed" of snake you're referring to. (Kudos to our resident herpetologist by the way.) #2. I would like to see the last line changed. I think changing "new" to "anew" would make the last verse a little more powerful. Good verse, though. I enjoyed it. I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Very good, my friend... jwesley |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
good to have you back Wes  |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Thanks. |
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