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Open Poetry #32
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-05-19 12:22 PM


I watched this woman fingering
the tabletop of worn veneer,
where her man had shuffled cards
in solitaire too many years
as she stirred his dinner pots
begging him to stop
in French
"You're ruining my finish, chez"
in English
"why do you do this?"
fussing head and gathering
the cards from shaky hands.

"Here, old man, it's time to eat."
Somehow she always said that sweet,
just before his ample feed.


Tonight I saw her fingering
the scratches of his obstinance.

I held her hand in selfishness
as she sang to me in French,
"what madness is this wedded bliss?"
she grinned
her dittying of kiss
and how the myth of wedding ring--

is nothing but a stubborn streak...

she let slip a tear and I
watched it travel from her eye
down the valley of her cheek

to rest upon the scratchings there

after it had crossed her lips
dripping fate resigned
she smiled
and sang to us his death, and then

the silence broke my heart.



© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2004-05-19 12:26 PM


Serenity Blaze -- I am so touched by this.  There is such sensitivity and observation in this poem, as well as deep compassion expressed so humbly.  Exquisitely beautiful picture of the loss (if beautiful can be used in this context).  Sorry for your friend's and your loss.  
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
2 posted 2004-05-19 12:36 PM


Gads! yer killin' me here m'witch!

Awfully nice writing though...

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
3 posted 2004-05-19 12:57 PM


an Artist of Movement

this is your gift

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-05-19 01:16 AM


Incredible! Gorgeous

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2004-05-19 01:19 AM


Like this...James
majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
6 posted 2004-05-19 01:48 AM


you really saw her. well done.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-05-19 02:15 AM


you write about people well
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2004-05-19 02:17 AM


thank you, and?

had I been competent enough to write the sounds of an accordian between these lines, then and only then I would have come close to an apt portrayal of these people.

Dear to my coon ass heart, they are.

Rest in peace, Mr. Gibbs.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2004-05-19 07:12 AM



I knew when I saw the title
I would need a Kleenex.
I was correct.

I hope you continue to bring
Velma's ways, and days, to us

keeper lines.  These are all keeper lines.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
10 posted 2004-05-19 07:42 AM


oh, this was soooooo well done
PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA
11 posted 2004-05-19 08:37 AM


I love your uniqueness...love reading all of yours.
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
12 posted 2004-05-21 10:19 AM


Karen, I love the way that you can see inside
of people and then tell us about them.......

Hugs,

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
13 posted 2004-05-21 11:00 AM


I wish for Velma's strength...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
14 posted 2004-05-21 11:05 AM


You are touching the heart strings ever so gently with this one.You can see your words as they dance across the screen of the mind.
Very touching.
BonBon

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2004-05-21 11:34 AM


As this does mine.

Simply superb!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2004-05-21 11:45 AM


Ser...you make us feel as though we have known the people forever.

Rest in peace Mr. Gibbs.

Hugs and love ya sweet lady~

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