navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Casting the Line
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic Casting the Line Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-05-12 09:25 AM


T’was a little late,
She not knowing she was bait
Walked so unaware
Wandering nowhere
Lost in a sad sobbing stride
The tears would not hide.

Then seen as victim
By mean eyes and dirty skin,
Began to follow
Shadow to shadow
With vile intent rushed her bold
Rape and murder cold

His attack was pressed
Ripping at her pretty dress
In his evil rush
To quench all his lust,
But he did not really know
This place of shadow.

Only when the feel
Of sixteen inches of steel
Thrust through his dark heart
Making life depart
Released him from evils grip
While to sidewalk slip.

The bait ran away,
Only the dead would there stay,
The stalking was done
And nothing was won,
But he wouldn’t stalk again;
Left an alley stain

Gloom



© Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-05-12 09:26 AM


gripping write, makes me want to encourage every woman to take karate!

Good one

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

2 posted 2004-05-12 09:34 AM


wow, I'm thinking about her life, what an ironic twist!  You really made me think on this one!  ~K~

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
3 posted 2004-05-12 10:29 AM


Sixteen inches? That's one big knife.  This was a good atmosphere piece, I enjoyed it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
4 posted 2004-05-12 10:40 AM


Thank you, LeeJ
Self defense is important, as well as keeping one’s wits,
There might not always be a protector available

Thank you, Kahlil,
High praise it that a poem makes the reader think

Thank you, Pilgrimage,
It’s a sword, not a knife, thin with both edges sharpen, but not actually a rapier so it retains the strength to parry a larger sword.  Pleased you enjoyed.

Gloom

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-05-12 12:39 PM


powerful piece here Gloom
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
6 posted 2004-05-12 01:47 PM


Took this one a bit deeper...strongly stated there is an art to self defense that begins with not fighting against the attack, but having focus enough to move with it, acting and not reacting.
You have quite a knack for fishing Gloom...
TD

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-05-12 02:28 PM


Chilling!  Stains -- just desserts!   ......jo
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
8 posted 2004-05-12 02:32 PM


Thank you, passing shadows
For taking the time to read and respond

Thank you, ThisDiamond
The method you refer to is judo, which takes the force of the opponent and uses it against him/her.  They say this is a gentler form of self defense since the defense is more than the attack like in karate.  I prefer to fish without catching.  Pleased you enjoyed.

Thank you, Iliana,
More than a thug deserves, a marker
A pleasure to see your comment beneath my humble words.

Gloom

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Casting the Line

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary