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Teen Poetry #7
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| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
I am no one. I have nothing left. Where does one go, When you have no place, To call home? Who does one turn to, When everyone has simply, Turned their backs on you? Don’t you dare, Preach to me, About my mistakes! I know what they are, I know what I’ve done, I’m not proud of myself. I am no one. I’ve lost everything. There is nothing here, Left to comfort me, In this darkened room. I choke down these tears, And lay myself down to sleep, Since no one else will… I bottle up my pain, And hide from the world, Never accepting hope. My heart was not strong enough, To make it through the change, After I lost everything. I am nothing. "I...I bleed...For no one..but myself...For me and no one else!"~ MudVaYne |
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| © Copyright 2004 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
i would really like to see you expand into the realm of deep imagery. while your poems aren't bad, they are kinda all the same. when i read them there is nothing that goes !BAM! that is my only suggestion from now on. alex |
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Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
This one speaks to me. Because I felt your pain. But the subject of your pain was so vague and like alex said there was no imagery to back up your words. So it becomes sort of bland. There is great potential though. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
The main reason I don't normally use imagery in my writing, is if you haven't noticed, some people tend to OVERuse imagery, and it makes their poem turn to crap, and plus...when I write something, I don't usually THINK about what I'm writing, it just comes out. "I...I bleed...For no one..but myself...For me and no one else!"~ MudVaYne |
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