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Teen Poetry #7
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Love Sonnet
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Love Sonnet |
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Lisa_bebe15 Member
since 2001-11-15
Posts 151Florida 
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One day you will never want to let go. You will see how much we need each other. You give me warm feelings from head to toe. Our love is not common like another. The love you give to me brings me great joy. I hope this feeling never goes away. It’s not a feeling that would annoy, Besides, it’s not something you can slay. I love you like I’ve never loved before. The bond between us just cannot be torn. Our love just keeps expanding more and more. A love that is out own that we adorn. I hope that our relationship goes on, Until then, our love will be called upon. Class Of 2004 |
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| © Copyright 2004 Lisa Ann - All Rights Reserved | |||
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
The rhyming seemed a little forced in places. But it was still pretty good. ~Kissa I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
I agree about the rhyming... You write a bit like my ninth grade English teacher... straight out of the textbook. So basically, you have the knowledge and the foundation to be a great writer, but I think you need to try writing outside the guidelines a bit. Just... let it flow. Write about something you're passionate about. Write what feels right, not what fits your rhyme and rhythm scheme perfectly. Honestly, I'm obsessed with rhyme and rhythm... it's what I generally enjoy most, but I'd much rather read free verse (or even borderline poetry that doesn't quite have any kind of a set anything) that comes from a persons heart and depth rather than being forced. I hope you'll continue writing, and exploring your talent. I can't wait to see where you go with it.  I'll be looking for more. -Lioness |
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