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Teen Poetry #7
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I Don' t Know
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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I Don' t Know |
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Olive_8 Junior Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 41Canada |
Why do I often feel like this? Like the world has left me behind I feel like I have no where to turn I have no where to hide I never seem to understand Everything happening to me Everything is a blurry haze And it's getting harder to see I feel like I don't belong Like I'm lost without a friend I feel like I won't pull through Like this could be the end I don't know about the future I don't know how it will be I don't know if I can take it That's just how things are for me The world keeps on spinning Faster everyday I don't think I can keep up I feel like I'm stuck in the way [This message has been edited by Olive_8 (09-22-2003 07:06 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Olive_8 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sunshinemc Junior Member
since 2003-09-20
Posts 27 |
Keep your head up! Sunshine is in the forecast ;-) <3 |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
it was an alright poem. very simplistic, nothing new written here. try and think of ways to express how you feel without being so direct. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
it was an alright poem. very simplistic, nothing new written here. try and think of ways to express how you feel without being so direct. |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
I can relate very well to what you are going through. The poem had a nice flow and ryhthm to it which you didn't break or waver throughout the entire piece which is something that is hard to do. I give you big credit to that, I do agree to an extent with young_blood in that you should try and add some more imagery lines into it so that the reader can really "see" in there minds what you mean as well as feel the emotion. ~Live and Laugh~ The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again |
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lauren03 Member
since 2002-01-04
Posts 64oh, usa |
good write but don't stop trying. life gets hard from time to time. some times things look like they'll never get better. just hold on and keep trying. lauren |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
I could really see this poem in song form...as I read, I actually heard it in a tune. It was very good and I enjoyed it. Thanks for the read. ~J.Lynn  **To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.** |
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swinging2bbvd Junior Member
since 2003-10-02
Posts 14 |
yes the ryhthem was smooth, simplistic rhymes, you do need to be more creative with your imagry. however i did like the way you started some stanza's, forenstance stanza 3 lines one to three with the repeated start yet held the rhyme scheme. reminds me of a poem i wrote, i think im going to post it now.  |
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Silent Evincar Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179Here There and Places Between |
Stuck, stuck, and stuck some more. After awhile you kinda realize that isn't an instruction manual for this rollar coaster. Not like it matters, it would be blank anyways. I fond this very interesting and personal; just perfect. NJS |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
good onnnnnnneeeeeeee. (this has been a simplistic thought by dertah.) |
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Honey Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92Hot girl From Canada |
all i can say is wow It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In. |
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