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Teen Poetry #7
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That Day
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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That Day |
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tml_nut New Member
since 2003-11-23
Posts 4 |
Hey, like i said in my last work i only just joined a week ago. This poem was my first when my first girlfriend broke up with me (went out with her again) and for the record i was (and am) in love with her. Anyway here it is. Hope you like it It was like any other day Life was good for him No problems with friends His girlfriend was fine But acting strange He was being his usual self Trying to comfort her But there was something in her eyes Like she was fighting a raging battle with herself When lunch came He asked what was wrong She asked if he wanted to know now or after school He told her now As soon as those words escaped her lips He was thrown into a dark icy sea Unable to breathe She stared at him watching his reaction Praying that she didn't kill him But she knew that her words "just friends" Would burn into his heart He was in a surreal state Not believing what had just happened Five months had just ended with her He muttered to his friend to follow him And then the worst hit him He came out of his comma Relatity floating back to the surface It was like a dagger had peirced his chest Ripping out his heart He asked his friend to grab another friend And her expression was like his Shocked and baffled She hugged him harder than ever Trying to take the pain away But it was too late He had already been torn to hell He went through the afternoon With an expressionless face Trying to continue on But it was too much During the last period he lost it He was with her best friend And she witnessed his tears He tried all he could to stop But the tears kept coming After school he saw her But he had to turn away The agony was too great That night he went to bed early Hopping that it would just end As if it were all a dream Wishing that the torture Would wash away with the tears on his pillow That day everything changed for him He had now experienced the pain of love Then he remembered The thing that would get him through it all And at that moment he thanked god for friends Three months later he was talking to her And he was given the change he had been praying for She said she wanted another chance He agreed and they went out again But like the past something went wrong At the dance he was regected Not once Not twice But three times He was crushed the hell once again Only to find out that she went with someone else He somehow found it in his heart to forgive her They went out for another month His life was wonderful again He was living in bliss It seemed like it would last forever Little did he know That that dagger would return To haunt him To plung into his chest One more time Note: Just reading this over again, i dont know how great it is but hey im self critical. |
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| © Copyright 2003 tml_nut - All Rights Reserved | |||
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martina Member
since 2003-06-19
Posts 59 |
Hey i think you did a wonderful job on this i hope to see more of your work. Martina |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
I really like this. I hope to see more of your work in the future. Thanks for sharing. |
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secret_truth_lies Member
since 2006-11-14
Posts 74 |
I think you did a wonderful job on this piece. I really do hope to see more of your work on here. Thanks for sharing. And have a happy Holiday. |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
nice work i will be looking foward to further poems from you may i make one suggestion though this is just an opinion of me as a reader but i find it weird to read in the third person to me it just seems not to flow but i may not be as experienced as others in poetry but i still loved it |
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surf_painter Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434Canada |
sorry i am posting again but i didn't know how to add your poem to my library without posting which i didn't know before and i also thought to mention i give my best wishes in your endeavor with this person it seems tough |
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