RIP Lance Jerome Hernandez A.K.A Baby L

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

UnsilencedWords666
Member

since 2003-11-19

Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

0 posted 2003-11-26 11:13 PM

***WARNING: this is just me needing to vent-this is a subject i have no one to talk with about anymore, please excuse it if it upsets you in anyway...i do not mean for it too....if you'd liek me to move it to another board, please tell me and i will...thank you***

RIP Lance Jerome Hernandez A.K.A Baby L
May 5, 1985 - July 15, 2003
I love you like a brother, and even though you always gave me “crud” for being two whole years younger, you never allowed anyone to hurt me and maybe had I told you to give me space you'd still be here giving me hugs and telling me stories about my daddy (who I never knew because of gang warfare)...Maybe had I taken you're advice in 5th grade I wouldn't have made you loose your life too...I can't help but feel guilty for the loss of you...You were the only one who ever knew me for who I am inside and out. You never let my past tear us apart and were always thee to pick me up when I fell, I'm sorry that I didn't do the same, and that I let you down that way...That I let you fall and wasn't able to pick you up...G-d Lance, you knew that bullet was meant for me, NOT YOU...why'd you have to jump in front of me when that car drove by, huh? Do you have any idea how much I am hurting...Lance-you know that I should be where you are and you should be here with your sister and mom...God, I never meant for you to get involved...I never ever meant to have you get hurt...this was supposed to be my destiny, you should still be here with everyone and making sure that everything is running smoothly, what am I supposed to tell your daughter when she gets older that her dad died saving her “aunt” because he was saving my life? She‘d never understand, especially since I don‘t and can‘t...I can‘t face this alone, you were always the one to comfort me and now you left me...why, because you felt that you could save me from the world? well, now you really can‘t cuz you‘re not ever here for me anymore...I hate you right now...I hate the pain you‘re causing me, or maybe I hate myself for causing everyone this pain...G-d I just don‘t know anymore-Dude I’m not mad at you...I can't be mad at you, your gone because of me. This was you just being you, I guess, protecting your baby sister from everything just like always...Never ever letting any harm come to me...G-d I feel so horrible everyone is right it is my fault...my past made everyone loose out on you...Baby l, I am so sorry....you are my best friend and always have been and will FOREVER be-I know you wouldn't want me to be sad, but it hurts not having you around....but I know that you're up in a gangsta paradise, where I will join you soon enough. Until then, keep it real and say hello to my daddy for me...I miss you always and forever... -Baby Chika

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

1 posted 2003-11-27 02:22 AM

hmm...wow i've never really read anything like this. my first thought, in all honesty, was to question if this really happened. i don't think anyone would just make this up though, so that was just me being some naive small town wisconsin girl.
anyway, besides some typos, this was poetry at its most raw form. i like to write that way too, so it's cool. i understand the need to vent, and if you ever need to talk to someone, i think most of us are here for ya. even though it is online, it does help. keep writing.
-bergundy-

"Be who you want and do what you will, in the end those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter." -Dr Suess- (a brilliant man)

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

2 posted 2003-11-27 10:35 AM

This is so sad, it almost made me cry. It also made me think if that happened to my brother how upset and depressed I would be, and still I could never even imagine the pain unless it happened to me. We are hear if you ever need someone to talk about because I know how much it helps to talk to people about things that tear us apart inside.

~*~Karen~*~

~All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them~Walt Disney

UnsilencedWords666
Member

since 2003-11-19

Posts 63
Broken Memories & Falling Tears

3 posted 2003-11-29 12:50 PM

all I can say is...THANK YOU!

*~*Nessa Bear*~*

You can’t choose who you are Only what you will be Why can't you choose To let me be me...*~*Nessa Bear*~*

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.