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Teen Poetry #7
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What is love?
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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What is love? |
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Sweetpali08 Junior Member
since 2006-05-07
Posts 40 |
 Searching for answers within my heart. Asking god to lead me to the right path . But yet again: Where are the answers am searching for. When in reality. I don't know the questions am wanting to be answered. Am afraid to ask. People! People! People am confused. PLEASE! Tell Meee What is love? What is love? What is that feeling that gets you going for anything that gets on your way? Is it within that smile? Within that late cries at night wanting to hear a comforting voice? Or is it a feeling that eventually looses it's taste? Many died . Many cried. Many hung up themselves on walls. Many became the greatest of madness. And yet the real question is : Does love truly exist? Where does it begin? How does it begin? Does it start with that one simple smile. Or that one angry look.. Does it look for you , or do you look for it? What is love? What is love? By:NMusa |
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| © Copyright 2006 Jannah - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
hey.. I loved this.. well.. I think that the picture added a lot to it.. I see how you put your emotions.. I like when you said "people people people" it caught my attention.. I'm not sure why you put more than one 'e' on Me.. it just doesn't make sense to drag out that word.. but this was really good.. ~heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
thats a rly pretty picture awesome poem but like heather said (yes i almost always agree with her) theres rly no need to drag out the me k awesome job though keep up the GREAT work ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey sweetpali08, Great job on this poem! I loved the whole thing, because I can relate well to the subject… Also, like everyone else said awesome picture. It only took my computer 5min to load it but okay…yeah, I have slow internet server. I’m afraid I have to disagree with everyone on the “Meee” part, I think I like how it’s dragged out, cause to me it sounds more like you’re asking for the people to just tell you the secret to love. So dragging out the “me” signifies just you, no one else, does that make any sense? Not really, but okay… There are a few things in this poem that I’d question your phrasing, like one, “many hung up themselves on walls” I’m not sure if you did that on purpose or not, but I think it would sound better without the “up”. I think the “up” kicks the flow off. Or, “Where are the answers am searching for?” you might want to add an “I” in there somewhere, but that’s just minor stuff, there’s nothing major I would change in this… Anyway, I really did enjoy reading this poem, I can’t wait to read more of your work  @-->--- |
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Sweetpali08 Junior Member
since 2006-05-07
Posts 40 |
Awwwww, Thank you.... Well am now confused. Should i take out the meee or leave it on? Lol. Hmmm well, I added them to get the attention of my reader. Nora if that's what i can call you: Thank you so much for your wonderful reply. The_girl......Thank you. stargal: Thank you for your total honesty. I usually love honest people and i guess there is many of you around here. Thanks. I will try to fix the mistakes you pointed out. Thank you all once again :-))) "How are they the VICTIMS if they are the OCCUPIERS?!" |
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