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Teen Poetry #7
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KuruShio
Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110


0 posted 2003-11-18 10:27 PM



She is not mine, she never was.
Proud as a Queen that never loves.
Deep as the abyss, everything she does
Embodiment of bliss, If beauty ever was
Feminine yet secure, strong but Unsure
I take my stand
As the Lovestruck does
She romanced
I could not dance
But to take that chance
To take her in
On dreams and whim
Show her the world
Made new again

© Copyright 2003 KuruShio - All Rights Reserved
magic_612
Member
since 2003-07-31
Posts 190
NB, Canada
1 posted 2003-11-18 10:34 PM


great job, I especially liked the first 5 lines.
young_blood
Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN
2 posted 2003-11-20 08:50 PM


hmmmm...it was alright i guess. there a billion poems like this though. write something original
-alex

now im alone, but not lonely like before

skyshine
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
3 posted 2003-11-20 10:07 PM


I loved the ending line--kind of like "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. Opening someone's eyes can open their heart as well.

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

KuruShio
Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110

4 posted 2003-11-20 10:43 PM


thanks for the comments

young blood yes there are alot of love poems out there


dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

5 posted 2003-11-21 01:29 PM


the world made new again....
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