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Teen Poetry #7
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curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england

0 posted 2006-03-25 10:08 AM


Life

If I ever had the chance to go back in time then I wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t because I can’t make anything wrong or right
I do not believe in a destiny nor a previous or an after life
I do not believe in science and I do not believe in spirit.
So what am I?
I am curiose; I am a blank canvas for you to work on
I want to believe but I don’t, I keep my feelings to myself
Because I do not believe.
I tell my self, my family, and my friends that I am devoted to my religion
Or am I just curiouse?
do I not want to explore this world,
do I not want to make my own life by making my own twisted decisions
if you set goals for me,
tell me what to believe,
tell me what is wrong or right and how live my life , then is it really my life?
Or is it yours, am I a follower of this world?
Do I not want to be a leader?
So why would I want to go back in time, so people can make my life for me.
I am not me I am not my own person
I am what you have made me into,
I am what this world has made me into and I do not like it.
Or is it that I have made myself into what I am today?
Am I two people? Am I a follower on the outside and a dreamer on the in?
Or is everyone…

© Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
1 posted 2006-03-25 12:16 PM


Confusing! You might want to consider adding stanzas… I enjoyed this though!
It was really deep, had some amazing questions in it.
I’m not sure what “curiose” means, unless you’re trying to say curious?
I’m not sure if you’re a rhythm person, but the poem doesn’t always flow, actually I couldn’t really find a good rhythm.

Good job though! My favorite line has to be,
“I want to believe but I don’t, I keep my feelings to myself
Because I do not believe”

I can really relate to this.

Thanks for sharing! I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

@-->---

curiouse
Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277
england
2 posted 2006-03-28 10:33 AM


thanx stargal and yes i did mean curiouse, curiouse
firy
New Member
since 2006-04-07
Posts 8
florida
3 posted 2006-04-09 02:08 AM


I liked the poem alot but it flowed only in certain parts however though the poem says things I seemed to wonder in my head everyday but never really can answer
thanks,
firy

chief

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
4 posted 2006-04-09 01:43 PM


Stanzas would be great for this. It doesn't flow that well in some parts. I don't really know how you can change that but I'm telling you any ways. yeah I was kinda confused about the curiouse word but its all cleared up now thanx.

                  Jessica

Merik
New Member
since 2006-04-10
Posts 6

5 posted 2006-04-10 11:16 AM


I think it's good the only religion in life you can believe is the one of experience meaning that only by living life and experiencing it can we be our own person. Our experiences and our acquaintances make our personality and our beliefs.
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
6 posted 2006-04-20 11:18 PM


THIS IS AMAZING..!! nothing more i can say..
great job..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
7 posted 2006-04-23 06:33 PM


this is VERY interesting gurl! see i liked it a lot a few words could have been added so it makes more sence. but the over all flow was awesome. if you feel like people have choosen your paths through life your wrong they may have shown you or said what paths you should go down but your the only person that can walk down them...sorry if it sounds harsh. and i know that you know that you do know that there is a God and you can chose to believe or you can not! sorry again if this sounds harsh

just simply saying
hugs from me
byeebyee

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
8 posted 2006-04-23 09:51 PM


oops didn't mean to post anything here so now I will just apologize. I apologize. tata
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