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Teen Poetry #7
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aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-03-08 08:01 PM


I’m sick of this place
Where all wear a mask
there’s no truth in this world
only despair and distrust
I can’t stand it any more
Is this how it’s always will be
Lying and crying
No hope for sanity
We’re too long gone
to be saved from reality  



© Copyright 2006 Leah S. - All Rights Reserved
latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
1 posted 2006-03-08 08:37 PM


cool. it flows and ryhmes very well. nice work.

           Jessica    
            
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-03-08 09:26 PM


Wow! I really, really, enjoyed reading this!
I’m not sure why, maybe it’s just because I feel like this poem says sometimes.

One thing you might want to do is switch this line, “Is this how it’s always will be”, to something else. Just a thought though.

I’d love to see more of your poems, so I hope you take the time to create more for my enjoyment!

My, that sounds rather selfish….

@-->---

aliway
Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185
With in your eyes
3 posted 2006-03-08 11:48 PM


No, you don’t sound selfish at all.
I like that you like my work. If you believe it or not you give me confidences to keep writhing


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