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StarryEyed3
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 58
bostonia

0 posted 2005-06-26 09:57 PM

he sings only the saddest songs
and drinks only the reddest wines.
his eyes droop
like melted wax
as he pulls away.

on tuesdays he forgets to shave
broken glass and shattered wheels
the whiskers threaten
his weightless face
as he speaks to me with
easy lies like
"i think i'm in love with you"

i'll wait for you
another day in the rain
with a broken umbrella
and you gaze over me
and laugh like you're letting
me in on a secret

you're leaving
and tomorrow's infatuation
will continue into the
star-speckled night.
don't worry for even a moment-
i can hear your smile
from days away.

[This message has been edited by StarryEyed3 (06-27-2005 12:54 AM).]

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

1 posted 2005-06-26 10:26 PM

excellent

ArdentFlamez
New Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 2

2 posted 2005-06-27 08:47 AM

Hey I liked that that was mean

Holla

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2005-06-28 12:01 PM

The first stanza really drew me in. And I love the imagery you used in this, especially in the 3rd stanza. I think the last part of the 2nd stanza was my favorite, "the whiskers threaten his weightless face as he speaks to me with easy lies like 'i think i'm in love with you'"
Your work is a great addition to pip. Thanks for sharing.

If I could fall asleep tonight
you know I’d dream of you
and wake up wondering
why my heart is so cold
~WinterWren~

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

4 posted 2005-06-28 12:20 PM

very nice...especially the last lines

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

5 posted 2005-06-28 06:13 AM

Very nice .....

I could feel you here, days away... !!

Hope to read more!

I_dont_know_me
Junior Member

since 2003-12-08

Posts 48
UK, Cymru

6 posted 2005-06-28 02:13 PM

NICE

) x

shara
Member

since 2002-05-21

Posts 69
florida/USA

7 posted 2005-06-28 04:57 PM

that was really good, infact, htat is an understatement. it was excellent

sha_sha

StarryEyed3
Member

since 2005-06-26

Posts 58
bostonia

8 posted 2005-07-01 07:15 PM

thanks everyone! such a warm welcome to a new member

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