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Teen Poetry #7
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Sitting In The Dark
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Sitting In The Dark |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York 
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Another anger poem, this one speaks for itself, I think.I think I removed all the profanity, but if you find some, I'll change it.Hope you enjoy this outpouring of pain, dispair, and rage. -Rich ****************************************** Sitting in the center darkness all around no way to enter no one to be found Left alone in this room a single flame my only friend Trapped inside this gloom desperately wishing for an end Shadows dance upon my face spun by memories I can't erase While thoughts of what we could have been fester somewhere deep within Torn away from all I know trapped inside with nowhere to go stains of emotion long since dry I'm waiting here just to die Betrayal's bitter taste saturates the air trust obviously misplaced thinking you’d play fair Trapped within my own naïve notions Believing in your love Trusting in the heart’s emotions And not the thought above Giving up to you my all While you stealthily covered your tracks Trusting you not to let me fall While you ran around behind my back What the hell was I thinking, Giving you my heart? You caught me while I was blinking Or else I would have seen you from the start I may have been blind But trust me honey, now I see What you didn’t want me to find What you couldn’t help but be You’re a heartless witch Out only for yourself Such a cold witch No love for anyone else Pretty little china doll So flawless on the surface Stupid little china doll Hollow and without purpose Shallow doesn’t begin to describe What you’ve now become And now it’s time to decide Weather you like all you’ve done I wish you could see yourself Just how hollow you’ve become You don’t even know yourself Or where you came from One day you’ll wake up And then you’ll see Just how much you messed up And what will never be And if you ever find time to read this Don’t you even worry about me I’ll live just fine without your kiss And I’m stronger than you’ll ever be. ********************************************* Winamp is Playing: "Into The West" LOTR: Return of The King Soundtrack is knowing where I've been ~Rich~ |
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| © Copyright 2004 Richard H. Dikeman - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Yay, I get to go first! Let me say...wow. I think is the best, most heartfelt piece I have read from you. The begginging was really sad, and being that I can relate, almost brought me to tears. Then the anger started coming through in the middle and that melded well with the sadness. Really beautiful piece. Im really sorry that you're going through this kind of thing, I know how it feels. In time, it really will be easier to forget.  Nice to see you around.WinterWren- |
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branden726 
since 2000-09-25
Posts 607Bay City, MI |
Wow you touched a side of me that I didnt know was there. I totaly felt like I knew where u were comming from but I really don't. Anyways great poem. |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
anger is fun to play with... good work and its nice to have u back "They say that truth will set you free, but then so will a lie. It all depends if you're trying to get to the promised land or just trying to get by." |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Thanks guys. I needed to have a bit of praise. My self esteem was getting a bit low. And it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who's been here, Wren. Though it's not exactly consolation knowing that you've had to endure this, it helps all the same. It shows me that it can be gotten over. My heart's rather grey, as well. Thanks all! Winamp is Playing: "Weathered" Creed Weathered is knowing where I've been ~Rich~ |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
hmmm...I haven't seen you around here in a while, of course I haven't been around much lately so I may missed some...I must say that while I generally tend to like the happy poems you write better, such an honest and open outpouring of the anger inside your soul is nothing less than heartbreakingly beautiful. few critiques, I would replace the second use of the word hollow with something else, or move it, its too close to the first time you used it. Also while much of your poem ryhmed there were a few parts that seemed strained in an otherwise well flowing piece of work you may try and fiddle with the wording a bit. Once again lovely work, it was nice to be able to read from your writing again. ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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aussie teen Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 396Australia |
this is beautiful..... i to know this and i am still recovering but it does heal with time and you will recover, you will trust again... if only tentatively but it gets easier.... i would love to read the original... if you would be kind enough to send it to me it would be much apreciated.... keep writing... i hope to read more from you. Ruth live life as if your going to die tomorow....... but love as if your going to live forever...... |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Rich, I'm relatively new around here and never got to read you before...i'm so glad that you have posted because this poem is just so amazing.  It has so much emotion and is just a great write.Post some more soon, k?  ~Alli~ *:.AIM = Alli4000.:* My Journal |
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