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Teen Poetry #7
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a path wide enough for two
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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a path wide enough for two |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN 
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yet another song for my band. this is fingerpicked real nice and slow. think something like....never mind....it's good though. a path wide enough for two walk me down the road aways and leave me there to wander home. I'm the lost one again... I'm the lost one away... look at him to forget today and let me wonder on my own. I'm the last one again... I'm the last one to stay... Oh, tonight, We'll live out the words we've just sung. Oh, tonight, I'll wake from this dream and....scream. Take me down the Faust aways, let me hear the painful groans. I'm the one lost again... I'm the one lost away... I look at you, try to say, but stumble 'cross your seeing stones. I'm the one last again... I'm the one last to stay... oh, tonight, we'll live out the words we've just sung. oh, tonight, i'll wake from this dream and...scream. |
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| © Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
I'de like to hear the music behind this piece, I liked it overall and can think of no constructive critizism at the moment, I think its pretty damn good the way it is. ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thanks bella |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
I liked this one. It came across sort of humerous to me....  I loved the last stanza. The repitition fits perfectly. I usually dont like it when people repeat the lines in their poems, but i liked this one. Karissa I ask why, but in my mind, |
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
i really like it i bet it sounds great. i too would love to hear the backing music. no critiques to give! keep posting, love to see some more updates on your songs keep rocking darkness nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
once again, thanks guys for commenting. |
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