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Teen Poetry #7
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tapper798
Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2004-09-05 09:15 PM


Yikes guys! I've been on like a writing streak today, I just keep coming up with new things to write, they may all sound the same but let me know what you think please!

It’s just too easy to act
Like every things ok,
Like nothing’s going wrong,
Like your lifes just great.

It’s so easy to smile,
What presence a smile can send,
It can fool even yourself,
A helpful mask it will lend.

It might appear that I’m happy,
That I live in the perfect world,
Would you say that right now,
If you saw this living whirl?

It’s just so easy to pretend,
Instead of acknowledging what is real.
Then maybe no one will see,
what I deep inside truly feel.

A smile can be deceiving,
A hug, a hidden desperate cry,
Both can be true affections,
But both can also be lies.

Hidden in my happy little world
Of butterflies and pretty flowers,
I lay on my bed, tears on my face,
Crying for hours and hours.

In beauty there is always pain,
Someone will have to pay,
I guess now it’s my turn,
to act like I’m ok.

Love is giving him the ability to break your heart...but trusting him enough to know he won't.

© Copyright 2004 Erin - All Rights Reserved
kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
1 posted 2004-09-05 10:03 PM


oh wow...this was amazing.

I can relate sooo much, and i just absolutely loved this. Esp. the ending.

You are such a talented writer.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

Lindsay
Member
since 2003-03-26
Posts 59
South Dakota
2 posted 2004-09-05 10:27 PM


Wow! I dont know what to say. This was awesome. I could really relate to it.
Keep on writing!

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
3 posted 2004-09-05 11:34 PM


The last stanza set this piece off. Good job! ~Jess

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

*Alli4000*
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188
The World of Poetry
4 posted 2004-09-06 10:29 AM


Omg Erin...your writing lately has been absolutely amazing!
This poem just left me speechless...I'm going to save it to my library, hope you don't mind.

~Alli~

*:.AIM = Alli4000.:*
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened...

I_dont_know_me
Junior Member
since 2003-12-08
Posts 48
UK, Cymru
5 posted 2004-09-07 02:54 PM


i love this poem! ye ur writng is amazing ~emma~
AtLsHawTy17
Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 60
IL,
6 posted 2004-09-07 06:00 PM


this poem was soooooo awesome, i loved it, and it takes a good writer to write a good poem for me to really like it and i really like wow it touch me keep up the good work
dodge_chick2003
Member
since 2004-01-18
Posts 136
California
7 posted 2004-09-07 07:40 PM


I can relate to this poem. I am tierd of always putting a smile on my face when all i really wanna do is cry.
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
8 posted 2004-09-11 05:48 AM


Oh wow...this is so EXACTLY how I feel right now. You've said it so much better than me.
I was always pretend to be happy around my friends and it just makes me feel so much more alone to realize they just wouldn't understand.
Thanks for sharing.

WinterWren-
Counting stars wishing I was ok,
Crashing down was my biggest mistake.

brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

9 posted 2004-09-12 10:13 PM


"A smile can be deceiving,
A hug, a hidden desperate cry,
Both can be true affections,
But both can also be lies."

Oh how true that is...I, too, find myself much too often doing this...I don't really know whether it's good or bad that people don't know how you feel. I think it'd be good so they wouldn't feel bad in any way but, then again, it doesn't help us and we just keep holding it in...and we all just keep smiling...hmmm... well I really like how you wrote about this...great job!


~*brezee*~

brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

10 posted 2004-09-12 10:14 PM


"A smile can be deceiving,
A hug, a hidden desperate cry,
Both can be true affections,
But both can also be lies."

Oh how true that is...I, too, find myself much too often doing this...I don't really know whether it's good or bad that people don't know how you feel. I think it'd be good so they wouldn't feel bad in any way but, then again, it doesn't help us and we just keep holding it in...and we all just keep smiling...hmmm... well I really like how you wrote about this...great job!


~*brezee*~

brezee
Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140

11 posted 2004-09-12 10:15 PM


SOO sorry bout that...grr! happens to me all the time!


~*brezee*~

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