WAR - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

spritrider87
Member

since 2003-05-31

Posts 294
NH

0 posted 2004-05-26 09:15 AM

A war wages through my heart, my soul, my mind
The indecision of life
The quary of mental imigas jaring to life
Pandoras box has opened
Everything rushing this way and that.
Can't hear the world
Because everything is so loud inside
Shutting off just for a moment of absolute scilenc
Happiness vs. Depression
Anger vs. Joy
Feeling vs. Numbness
Evil is winning
But I haven't given up
Yet...
My only dream is to be rid of this
To go away and never come back
To say good-bye to all that is wrong
I feel myself slipping...
As this war wages on.

5/25/04

"this life i live gets harder and harder. but every time i try to fix i end up on the floor. is this how im supposed to be. alone yet unafraid to hurt

[This message has been edited by spritrider87 (05-27-2004 02:25 PM).]

Rommance_Touch
Member

since 2004-05-07

Posts 97

1 posted 2004-05-26 07:00 PM

Can We Stop This WAR!!!!!!!!

sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member

since 2004-04-11

Posts 418
Earth

2 posted 2004-05-26 07:09 PM

hey,
the truth is i did not understand it much,,,i loved it thoguh eheh,,does that make sense??..it was great ,,i thought about it like the war is in me ,,not in the world but in me..i loved it keep it up..love and respct peace

I hate the world because it does'nt have a taste, i HATE the world because it does'nt have a color.!!
you cant change my mind.,..

drummerboy678
Member

since 2003-10-28

Posts 134

3 posted 2004-05-27 12:31 PM

Sweet_cute_palestinian-
I'm keeping my mouth closed....

Spritrider87-
This is pretty good... I like the beginning, but I think it grows weaker as it grows.
"The bad is winning"..... C'mon, you can do better than that!

Work on that line, and maybe a stronger ending.

I liked the poem overall though.

spritrider87
Member

since 2003-05-31

Posts 294
NH

4 posted 2004-05-27 02:23 PM

drummerboy678: i'll work on that line. belive me i will.
sweet_cute_palestinian04: your right is is a war inside the body.
Rommance_Touch: no you cant stop this war
alright now to fix that line db678 was talking about.

"this life i live gets harder and harder. but every time i try to fix i end up on the floor. is this how im supposed to be. alone yet unafraid to hurt

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.