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OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

0 posted 2003-10-20 04:45 PM

Down from my tower I fear that I'll fall
SO many years past since you told me he'd call
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your long hair"
But nobody's coming and nobody's there.
Rather than fall from this tower so high
I would more like to stay up here and die
I'll chop off my locks, too tarnished a gold
And forget my fairy tales and promises old.
When it comes down to it, I'm no princess fair
And I'd rather remain here than to compare
To the cinderellas of the world and sweet Briar Rose
Cuz they had no backbone and it shows.
But for me in my tower, above many and all
Beneath me a witch in this tower so tall
I'm surrounded by evils, but safe here alone
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel" I'll never be known.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

1 posted 2003-10-20 06:46 PM

hmmmm, my princess.....errrrrrrrrr

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

2 posted 2003-10-20 08:08 PM

This is great and a beautiful idea I must add; although I am partial to Jasmine. Lets hear it for backbones though. You should turn this into a modern fairy tale book, I'd read it.

NJS

layla
Member

since 2000-11-19

Posts 74

3 posted 2003-10-21 08:55 AM

What a clever write, I really enjoyed it,,,excellent work.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-10-21 02:33 PM

This is a beautiful poem. I am in absolute awe of you talented young writers. I didn't know what I was missing by not reading more in this Teen Forum. Beautiful writing.

Hugs

Ethel

colifer
Junior Member

since 2003-09-20

Posts 37
Ohio

5 posted 2003-10-23 01:23 AM

HEY! it's hard for me to got into the AABB rhyme scheme...whenever i do it i look childish...but WOW you really did good here. i really liked it...you have a great knowledge and grasp of language and vocabulary...you don't risk being cheezy or cliche because you know other ways to say things...i liked it alot

[This message has been edited by colifer (10-23-2003 01:45 AM).]

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

6 posted 2003-10-28 06:26 PM

I just found this and...I LOVED it! GREAT poem girl!

~J.Lynn

**To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.**

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