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Teen Poetry #7
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Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2004-05-03 08:24 PM



i can close my eyes and feel you whisper
tears on my fingertips
replacing the cuts
seared by your touches
everytime you held me
was like a heaven inside something else
that i cannot quite name
i promise you i'm terrified
of everything you stand for in my life
that i never want to let go of
i'll fall asleep next to you
so i will have another night
that i can call something mine
before i have to open my eyes again
and face what never was
looking up with blood running down
i pray for you and me
that everything will work
because i need someone to love me
without wanting to kill me first

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

© Copyright 2004 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
sweet_cute_palestinian04
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 418
Earth
1 posted 2004-05-03 09:06 PM


omg omg...awesome ,teriific..this poem is soo amazing...i turly loved it ,i dont know why others did not reply yet..but i am sure they will but i swear this poem was awesome .........keep writting please im begging you..lolol.....lovezzz
DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
2 posted 2004-05-04 04:26 AM


Wow, this was extremey deep and emotional. The last few lines kind of threw me, though.  Great read.  I'm still kind of speechless.  The structure and flow were excellent if I might say.  Great job, I think i've read work by you before, let's hear some more   

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

blackandwhitehorizon
Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183
an akward state of mind
3 posted 2004-05-04 06:42 PM


this was great
emotional and sharp
fabulous

"love is but a song we sing and fear's the way we die"

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
4 posted 2004-05-04 06:48 PM


thank you all for replying...

sweet_cute- thanks a lot, i will be writing more, i promise

dancingqueen- the lsat few lines are meaning that i want someone who can love me without hurting me ever, thanks for replying

blackandwhite- thanks for the reply.
always
ri

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Stepharoo
Member
since 2004-05-04
Posts 149
Washington, USA
5 posted 2004-05-04 09:45 PM


I thought this poem was Fantastic!
Keep it up!

Censored
Member
since 2004-04-11
Posts 86

6 posted 2004-05-04 09:46 PM


~because i need someone to love me
without wanting to kill me first~

Strong Ending. Most def. enjoyed.
Keep Writing! -Censored-

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