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Teen Poetry #7

I'm Already Dead

Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

0 posted 2004-04-05 03:38 AM

I’ve tried to die
So many times
A compete finalization
Not achieved by a rhyme

I’ve never been able to
Jump, shoot, or use the knife
To get away
From this so called life

I dream of it
Awake in bed
But I slowly find out
I’m already dead

I have on conversations
With people I really see
And it’s always been better
When people stay away from me

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

1 posted 2004-04-05 11:30 AM

nice, save for the terribly oerused cliche in the last line of the second stanza.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2004-04-05 07:06 PM

wow, i can really relate to this poem. The lines that stood out the most to me were:

"I dream of it
Awake in bed
But I slowly find out
I’m already dead"

nice job. keep writing!

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