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Dark Poetry #4
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Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715
New Zealand

0 posted 2004-08-02 02:55 AM


Let’s play make-believe,
Every day of our lives,
I’ll be the person you think I am,
And you pretend to be my friend.
I’ll put on the pretty costume that doesn’t fit,
And I’ll be the butterfly in your eyes,
The one that you designed.
I’ll look in the mirror,
And know that’s not me,
But your imagination runs as it pleases.
To you I am she,
To him I am shy,
To them I am happy and lively,
To me I am not even breathing.

That I am the good girl,
And the good girl,
Does as she would have done,
Every day, if it had not been for the others around her,
They close in and draw her breaths,
They remold her into someone else,
And the good girl wants to please,
So she agrees.
Not so good, and not so pure,
Infiltrated with the words,
She had never heard,
She never complains,
Even if the costume doesn’t fit.


Tell me what ya think
Hollow.

"Why are my visions so unliving with dreams? And why do I no longer care?" - Stygian

© Copyright 2004 Courtney - All Rights Reserved
silhouetted
Senior Member
since 2004-01-30
Posts 537
New Zealand
1 posted 2004-08-02 03:05 AM


courtney all these poems are sending shivers up my spine.

they are all so sad lately. I feel so helpless to these feelings i can tell are true.

but im so pleased that you can write it all out and make it seem so.... real. you know what i mean? or is it just me?

LOR

"It would make those who listen to it doze into a land of rivers, kund fu and unicorns, eventually making the listener pee in his/her pants - Brandon

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
2 posted 2004-08-02 09:58 PM


I think this speaks loud and clear and is filled with the truth of many a person's situation -- well penned.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

~K~
Member
since 2004-07-27
Posts 148

3 posted 2004-08-03 07:53 AM


This poem has a really nice rhythm. Great content too!
LucidityNow
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118
Canada
4 posted 2004-08-03 01:19 PM


They close in and draw her breaths,
They remold her into someone else,
And the good girl wants to please,
So she agrees.


I loved this poem. It reminds me perfectly of my life/facade in high school.

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
5 posted 2004-08-04 09:12 PM


This got my little mind working...I like it a lot.

You are very talented...this is a very deep and sad poem...i know how you feel, feeling like everyone wants you to be someone you arent...I know all too well.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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