Who Are You? - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

0 posted 2004-03-02 08:24 AM

Another face I didn't recognize before
Parasite in your own eyes
Ignorant of who it really is

Theft absense mute lifetime
5-6 grown a bit
Let me in
Break the rules of a secret

Or just run but don't trip
Older way and hidden life
Someone I'd like to know

Stare into space
Stationary pause
Sleep and it goes away

Fear of who you are
But who are you?

[I appreciate your concern, you'll always stink and burn.]-Kurt Cobain

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

1 posted 2004-03-02 01:52 PM

i don't know. (rofl) this was groovy! i like this too =).

- River

sleep my precious slumber

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

2 posted 2004-03-02 05:36 PM

I like. Endings good. Thanks. Keep posting.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

gpc
Junior Member

since 2003-03-01

Posts 43

3 posted 2004-03-02 05:45 PM

I don't know if this poem was lacking punctuation on purpose but I don't think that adds anything to the poem - consider adding some in! Some of it is really nice but lines like "Theft absense mute lifetime" remind me of things that are poet's favourite lines and therefore they won't take them out of the poem - that particular bit really made no sense to me.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2004-03-02 07:50 PM

Stare into space
Stationary pause
Sleep and it goes away

it really does go away with sleep.
I feel like I can relate a lot to what was said here.
Nice to see you around here, Craig.

~Lex

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

5 posted 2004-03-02 09:20 PM

thanx everybody.
gpc, let me babble
its has been awhile lex

GIS

[I appreciate your concern, you'll always stink and burn.]-Kurt Cobain

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

6 posted 2004-03-04 02:09 AM

craig i like this one a lot, there is a lot of mystery surrounding this one, very intrueging, and dont worry about gpc, dude's been critizing everybody...anyways nice write

"So what befalls the flawless?
Look what I've built, it shines so beautifully now watch as it destroys me."

Krystopher Morris
Member

since 2002-11-11

Posts 130
Ancient land called Chivalry

7 posted 2004-03-04 04:19 PM

That was really quite odd. I thought it was a bit catchy, but it didn't really catch my senses much.

"Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep, and yet a third of life is passed in sleep." -Lord Byron

DarkSide_Blues
Junior Member

since 2003-03-08

Posts 41
Fl, Usa.

8 posted 2004-03-05 04:03 PM

Though I can't really say it brought up any deep set feelings in me, I did get a pleasing image of an old and partially sane hermit speaking this to a visitor. I think I liked it because it reminds me of how my mind works. Good job. =)

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.