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Dark Poetry #4
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The Color of Fury
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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The Color of Fury |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
slip through convey this mortal contrast echoes echoes echoes through my mind wandering thoughts reveal a single flaw denoted confused, defused a bomb of rage of self destruction wonder what i'll do next wonder what the fury will bring "hello. my name is Rage. i've come to visit you today, and yeess, i will enjoy my stay" freaked out to calm paranoid reading psalms worried that my next brain overload will take my life why why why through my mind try try try to make it all make sense want to send it packing to the trash mail a package to hell make it crash suffer through the fun return and leave again i think i'm ready to stop stop the ride stop it now it's gone to far and don't tell me it's too late Love hurts as bad as it feels good. [This message has been edited by River (01-14-2004 01:00 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Bonnie Sue Bixler - All Rights Reserved | |||
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
I drempt a dreary dream that darkened... Disturbing that it brought me rest. sounds as if you need to shoot something, may i suggest a watermellon from 30 meters with an AR-15? much easier to clean off the hands than people parts. |
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KuruShio Member
since 2003-11-18
Posts 110 |
oh forgot to mention i really like this one it is emotion in raw and wriggling format. |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
thank you KuruShio, i appreciate it...i think what i really need to do is just figure out how to deal with my problems. I need a shrink, lol, for sure. and btw, thank you for taking out the not completely bleeped cuss words, Masked Intruder...I am in a calmer mood now than at the time of the post and found an alternative to swearing =) I'm also thinking of turning this into a two part song, i think it would be good if there was a second voice to this showing the conflicting thoughts that i often have. anywho, I've yacked about this enough..so, whatever. bye - River Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
I like the pattern to this peice. It's jumbled thoughts (which is what I think you wanted to convey), but without a jumbled confusing feel to it - it had a rhythm. It read very well. nice beat. |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
thanx, your words are very encouraging =) - River rest upon existence. seek life, |
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mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
hello. my name is Rage. This made the write. Nice, River. wayne If nothing is something |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
glad you think so Poe  - River rest upon existence. seek life, |
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