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Necro Draconis
Member

since 2000-05-19

Posts 115

0 posted 2003-12-31 02:46 PM

Lost

This feeling of uncertainty
Not knowing where to go
I am lost in my own body
Going against the flow

I can see the future
And what it means to me
But keep coming up empty
Still wishing I were free

This prison that I am in
Takes me deeper every day
Spiraling into oblivion
Tossing me every way

I can not yell or shout
For everything stays inside
I try to scream for help
But instead decide to hide

Into the darkness I fall
Searching for that spark
That will free me from my grave
And remove me from the dark

If this is reality, I want out.

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

1 posted 2003-12-31 05:34 PM

This is good, but I have a suggestion. Don't force a rhyme. Just say it. Good though.

GIS

Application of knowledge is the basis of ability.

[If I can't have everything well then just give me a taste.]-Trent Reznor

Necro Draconis
Member

since 2000-05-19

Posts 115

2 posted 2004-01-02 08:29 AM

Normally I don't like rhyming at all, but did for some reason

You have a good point!

We spend our whole lives trying to live, only to realize that we don’t know what life is truly about until it is too late.

Michelle_loves_Mike

Senior Member

since 2003-12-20

Posts 1189
Pennsylvania

3 posted 2004-01-02 04:49 PM

sometimes,,,,the worse place to be trapped,,,is in the fears of your own mind,,,,seeign the way out,,,,,,but to afraid to reach it,,,
Michelle

I wish all could find the true happiness I have found,,in the eyes of Mike

Mad_Hatter
Member

since 2003-06-29

Posts 393
Canada

4 posted 2004-01-02 08:32 PM

This is a good poem, I agree that rhyme can sometimes be bad, but it worked here I think.

Necro Draconis
Member

since 2000-05-19

Posts 115

5 posted 2004-01-04 08:31 PM

It is only once we realized our true selves, that we can realize how to escape our fears.

We spend our whole lives trying to live, only to realize that we don’t know what life is truly about until it is too late.

River
Senior Member

since 2003-09-16

Posts 627
my own little world

6 posted 2004-01-05 09:11 PM

wow, this is solid...i can so identify...well done =).

- River

Love hurts as bad as it feels good.

xaos
Junior Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 35

7 posted 2004-01-06 05:07 AM

Nice piece, I have a couple of pieces that describe this very familiar feeling.

Something beautiful comes out of sadness I suppose

Shereen
Member

since 2004-01-05

Posts 57
Michigan, USA

8 posted 2004-01-06 10:49 AM

This is very good. Isn't it funny how we can hide our true secrets from the watching world, yet give us ink to soak parchment and the depths of our emotions bleed freely?! I like this... I think we've all been to our depths more times than we care to tell.

Shereen.

Necro Draconis
Member

since 2000-05-19

Posts 115

9 posted 2004-01-06 03:34 PM

Thanks! It is true that we can write how we feel, but can never express it otherwise. Very wierd indeed!

We spend our whole lives trying to live, only to realize that we don’t know what life is truly about until it is too late.

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