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Dark Poetry #4

Vammpire's Kiss

BeyaK
Member

since 2008-08-07

Posts 126
Philippines

0 posted 2008-08-08 05:49 AM

This is my first poem posted here... hope you all would like this one... leave any reply if you want and thanks...

VAMPIRE'S KISS

Hum a song with the wind
confess for all have sinned
tonight, a stranger awaits
as I slowly turned into a bait
in the middle of the night
a cold sensation of the moonlight
I heard someone calling my name
and I never felt the same
I'm slowly losing my track
as I can't seem to fight back.

A sudden flow of sensation
asrift with my own imagination
I slowly seem to feel weak
with such a sudden streak
such emotion ran with time
I can't seem to get him out of my mind
it's like I'm starting to crave
for the kiss that he gave
I'm like bieng hypnotized
getting in line with the agonized.

In the night he crawls
as I await his call
seeing those dark mysterious eyes
I slowly get mesmerized
I can't seem to fight the feeling
his stares are slowly killing
all fears had went gone
nothing seems left undone
in a trance, no words are needed
for a vampire's kiss I slowly awaited.

~~*Kaye B.*~~

Mystress May
Member

since 2007-10-25

Posts 296
Taunton, MA

1 posted 2008-08-08 06:25 PM

I like this one, as well. Though some of the rhyming seems forced. If you need to force it sometimes it's better not to rhyme at all. Just some food for thought. All in all, I like it!

Our scars are the foundation for what we have become

BeyaK
Member

since 2008-08-07

Posts 126
Philippines

2 posted 2008-08-08 06:33 PM

Thanks for your reply, Mystress May.
I know I still have a lot of things to improve. ; ) I am still trying to get the right words to fit on my writings. Thank you so much. : ) keep posting as well. Looking forward to read more of your works.

~~*Kaye B.*~~

midnightdreamer
Member

since 2008-02-03

Posts 309
Roy,ut

3 posted 2008-08-11 10:10 PM

great write!

midnightdreamer

"It was heaven........right in the center of hell" Bella from New Moon

BeyaK
Member

since 2008-08-07

Posts 126
Philippines

4 posted 2008-08-12 12:09 PM

thanks midnightdreamer.

~~*Kaye B.*~~

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