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XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

0 posted 2008-05-02 10:23 PM

Bleeding here, all alone again.
I couldn't let go of the knife.
Swirling and twirling aound me
in pools, the stench of it turns
the darkness dead cold. Were
the darkness falls, all is
screaming; Let her die, let her
blood be feasted on by who cares
enough to look down.

So they left me here, alone and
dieing. Not seeing the real favor
they have done for me.

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

[This message has been edited by XxForever.BrokenxX (05-03-2008 12:52 PM).]

William James
Junior Member

since 2008-05-05

Posts 31
Ohio

1 posted 2008-05-05 01:29 PM

Now that was pretty dark.
Do you mean to say 'Where' instead of 'were'?
Do you mean 'dying' instead of ?dieing'?

But to quote you:
'I think there's some spelling mistakes. But who am I to tell someone they spell a word wrong!'
Will

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

2 posted 2008-05-05 10:38 PM

Hmm i thought i allready commented on this poem.. hmm i guess not.. well anyway this is a pretty dark poem.. i don't know how yo ucome up with these ideas and be so detail in your words.. when *that i know of* you never did such things.. Your a really good writer and i applaude you.

~Zach~

"Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant."

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

3 posted 2008-05-06 05:37 PM

Thanks for reading guys. And yeah..i get cofused about how to spell things 'cause i spell them one way and then other people spell them another and nobody says it's wrong when they do spell it wrong so my brain says.."Hey! that must be how u spell it!" ...so yeah, i suck at spelling. But thanks for poiting it out, even though it's too late to change it I'll alwyas remember now!
And yeah it's a tad dark...but it's all about what we know. And yeah, I did do what ur thinking I didn't, but like i said it's all about what we know.

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

[This message has been edited by XxForever.BrokenxX (05-06-2008 10:20 PM).]

again.on.death.row
New Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 9
Canada

4 posted 2008-05-08 09:35 PM

heyy. Bang-on Forever.Broken. I couldn't have captured those moments and those feelings any better.

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