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Dark Poetry #4
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cleopatra
New Member
since 2003-12-02
Posts 8


0 posted 2003-12-02 05:19 PM


now she wakes to realize
all she knows is one big lie
the nagging voice inside her brain
is the voice of her hidden pain
that lives deep within her heart
there is no use to now start
the road of loving someone new
when the fact she knows is true
it is her time to go away
and not to stay another day
to spread her arms open wide
take that leap and fly.


© Copyright 2003 cleopatra - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2003-12-02 09:00 PM


I liked this, though the rhyming seemed a little forced in some places. Welcome to Passions. Well done for your first post.

Tell me, how does it feel, to treat me like you do?~Orgy

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
2 posted 2003-12-03 07:52 AM


well done
SharaRose
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~
3 posted 2003-12-03 01:24 PM


Let's hope that leap to fly is that leap for new possibilites for her life.
Love,
Terri~


Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender...Dido

[This message has been edited by SharaRose (12-03-2003 01:26 PM).]

Ada'doLisdo'ti
Member
since 2002-12-10
Posts 123
California
4 posted 2003-12-03 05:19 PM


    Nice write

"Take the leap and fly"...

     But remember,

New possiblities fill the sky....

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
5 posted 2003-12-03 06:16 PM


Hello,
Welcome to Passions In Poetry. I hope that you enjoy it here. I hope to read more of your poems. I enjoyed this one.

Please check your e-mail for a special greeting from all of us here.
Hugs,
Ethel/garysgirl
Passions In Poetry Moderator

cleopatra
New Member
since 2003-12-02
Posts 8

6 posted 2003-12-03 07:06 PM


thanks you guys for all your comments...

spine grinder: ill definitly keep that in mind for my next write..thanx..

i just wanna say that its really nice having ppl to read and comment on my work.

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