Freezing In The Heat (yet another working title and another first draft)

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Dark Poetry #4

Freezing In The Heat (yet another working title and another first draft)

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

0 posted 2006-05-07 01:51 PM

Cold surrounds me in the dead heat
  feeling betrayed
by those that should be at my back
   well    i guess they are...
but is the knife necessary?
   there's that draft again
The burning has never been so frigid
   left     pressed against the bubble
wondering if it's warm in there
    wondering if they use each other there
        is the wind as brutal?
are words as sharp as a fine honed blade?
and are they sent by assasins cloaked behind the face of loyalty?
  Only to cut down the unaware from a blindside
      You should all freeze like i do
to how it feels to watch everything important
   burn to ash    devoured by the endless aching
     of knowing you couldn't stop the cataclysmic upheaval  as molten lava covers your existence
     left        apathetic
  dead       and alive
to walk soulless
     to rot in vain

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-" Slave of Love" by:  Me.  (posted in Dark Poetry)

[This message has been edited by Kaos (05-07-2006 08:26 PM).]

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-05-07 09:25 PM

I liked this alot.. I loved the beginning but then towards the end you kinda lost me a little bit.. I'm not sure if you got off subject.. I don't think so but.. maybe just something I didn't understand.. I'll have to read in to it.. otherwise.. this was great piece.. the choice of words and comparison was awesome.. keep it up..

`heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.