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Dark Poetry #4
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Lament
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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Lament |
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gelato Member
since 2005-10-27
Posts 63TN,USA |
Grief weeps and gathers the doom, While I pray it will not loom. Sad bitter people sit back and resent, Some other ways success makes me content. Old-fashioned minds have melded as one, Only my eyes think of this; there's none. I find rather bricks instead of just one, But there is sense of alikeness sung. Warm hearted one that stops the flight Remove my error from your sight. If I stay I just might slight, So I decide what is right, And what is my delusion. [This message has been edited by gelato (11-01-2005 05:08 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2005 Patricia B. Carrasco - All Rights Reserved | |||
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gelato Member
since 2005-10-27
Posts 63TN,USA |
Critiques, please? "Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car" |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
ok... the reason this is so incredibly awesome is probably one that escapes your conscience... it's a multiple poem within a poem... it reads fantastic as it is... but if you read only the first lines... "Grief weeps and gathers the doom, Sad bitter people sit back and resent, Old-fashioned minds have melded as one, I find rather bricks instead of just one, Warm hearted one that stops the flight If I stay I just might slight, And what is my delusion." then you can do the same with the second lines... awesome. strange, i know, but awesome. of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep. |
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gelato Member
since 2005-10-27
Posts 63TN,USA |
Well, thank you!! I would never have spotted that in a million years. "Buckle Up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car" |
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