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darkness_witch
Senior Member

since 2003-12-03

Posts 516
Underneath

0 posted 2005-01-26 04:08 AM

sit down and look
right through me
hold my hands
but dont feel them
ignore my tears

listen intently
but dont agree
nod and sigh
but dont disagree

hear me out
quietly
but convincingly
not letting on
your mind is on
another woman
with a prettier face

look concerned as i sob
but dont hug me
watch me plead with my eyes
as my brow furrows
and my voice gets angrier
but dont answer back

watch me want you and need you
watch me sigh
but dont sympathise

see me

see my torn heart

but dont remember it was your fault

*NOTE: any ideas for a better title would be great. Thanks*

nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world.

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

1 posted 2005-01-26 04:28 AM

I really liked that one... i could really feel it. Dude.. i know it must suck sooo much the whole break up with bj.. but i totally reckon you can make it through, and come out the other side a better person.

remember i'm always there for you

.

awesome poem. loved the second stanza.

Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it.

rm711
Member

since 2002-11-30

Posts 131
Wiltshire, England

2 posted 2005-01-26 07:03 AM

awesome poem.
I liked the fact that everything seemed so raw. and destructive.
x

vampiana
Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 296
Nothing and Nowhere

3 posted 2005-01-26 04:05 PM

oops lol. i meant the third stanza... silly me

Pride is holding your head up, when everyone else has their's lowered. Courage is what makes you do it.

Hollow_Emptiness
Senior Member

since 2004-02-01

Posts 715
New Zealand

4 posted 2005-01-26 08:29 PM

Awww.
I can't think of anything to say, cuz I'm talking to you now. Oh, no there you go. There's alot of hurt in this poem. It's sad.

"Hold your head high and reach the top" I have that annoying song and a rather good one in my head.
"Helloooo, I'm trying to focus but my eyes deceive me. Focus......."

Anyway. Did you know we had to keep our F3 english workbook for this year???? I think I threw mine out...
Love you.
Hollow.
Courts.

And the legacy runs from needles to guns
And no one's immune to the pain
From Marilyn to River Phoenix
From Elvis to Kurt Cobain

silhouetted
Senior Member

since 2004-01-30

Posts 537
New Zealand

5 posted 2005-01-26 10:40 PM

bloody brilliant.

hope he finally sits down and talks with you.

xoxo

you're the only one keeping me alive

EveGnosis
Member

since 2002-02-21

Posts 300
New York, USA

6 posted 2005-01-31 10:23 AM

disheartened. a torn heart. i felt this one... a well done job of conveying here...

of all the things we try to find... it's only love we keep.

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