»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #4
»
laughing at witches--a cautionary tale
| Dark Poetry #4 |
|
laughing at witches--a cautionary tale |
|
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
|
"Call the corners for me, witch." The dullard tossed an idle coin. Squinting in the dark of veils swooning through the waft assail of oils incensed brandy sweet he heard the bells upon her feet before he heard her laugh. She smelled the blood upon his loin. She felt the energy of itch. Simply then she stared at him. He said, "I paid you, bitch." "Aren't you going to read for me?" Then he tossed another bit. "There--I paid you twice" he said. She nodded, motioned him to sit. She rang a bell and blew the air. She feathered a four corner cross. She gave a flame to candle white tossing sea salt to despair-- then the dullard heard her sigh as she opened a small box. Next she shuffled three times three. She tossed three down with faces hid. He laughed, but she did not look up. He smirked the query: "Will I live?" She turned the middle card reveal-- the crumbled tower felled by Thor. In place of future of conceal appeared the ten of swords. He watched her as she shook her head. He paled beneath her ice of eye. She reached for card to show his past but his hand then held her fast: "Does this mean I'm going to die?" Silence was the answer yet. She flipped the last card up instead-- the ace of sword in detriment. She whispered, "You're already dead." [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-22-2003 02:41 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
............................................ .............. *eep* |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sigh... *eep* Mikie? I'd like some help with that last line... I was looking for some dragonbreath and wrote farts. grin... |
||
|
Asian Rain Member
since 2003-10-11
Posts 73 |
Awesome write! If I quoted all the fantasic lines I'd be quoting the whole poem. "he heard the bells upon her feet before he heard her laugh." Really loved those lines! Asia |
||
|
littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Holy Jesus this is brilliant! My God Karen . . . you are amazing and always will amaze me Godd . . what a tale would love to sit 'round the fire with you xxoo |
||
|
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Then end it with the next-to-last line -- She whispered "You're already dead." |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Yanno? Mikie? You are SO right! (I never did know when to shut up!) thank you sweets! and aw, Sista Susie, I will be writing you soon--and Asian Rain, you are a doll. I thank you all muchly. I'm off to edit!  |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Karen?...just wow...you do amaze me, lady... This is so very cool...such a powerful write... I didn't see it before the edit, but the ending, as it is now, truly is perfect And?...I'm with Sue...I wanna join my sisters 'round that fire...smile Love you, lady...  When the power of love overcomes the |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I read this while I was in Buffalo (BUFFALO?!?) But was waiting for a ride to the airplane place. So, I'll tell ya now how much I love this. It reads of "old school" serenity. lub ya witch! |
||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, I loved that ending. Yer the bestest story teller, witchy! BUFFALO!! LOL, wranx, we passed in the breeze this week, I left Buffalo Tuesday evening, you arrived Wednesday? I knew I shoulda told someone where I was going last week! I did tell someone, but that puppy doesn't always bark. HUH? (sorry 'bout danglin this load on your thread, K) |
||
Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
lol @ the witch but, seriously, amazing write. i didn't get to read the first ending, but i do like how it ends now. more later... off to breakfast. |
||
|
Edder Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671 |
"I was looking for some dragonbreath and wrote farts. grin..." LMAO at this! a chilling tale, m'lady. more, please? |
||
|
Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Remind me to read the tarot part in my book of shadows... I do love your stories...  "if you won't let me fall for you |
||
|
Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
L@ved this but the line: I was looking for some dragonbreath and wrote farts. grin... well that's sheer poetry..bravo lol ..and then one day you find..ten years have got behind you..no one told you when to run..you missed the starting gun.. |
||
|
devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Loved this sis...miss you bunches! Still waitin fer that update?  Blessed be...for this is chilling and had me grinnin at the same time!!! love you. |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
GLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. There is my sister witch! c'mere and hug my neck.  and hey, forgive me? I switched servers, etc. and lost your e mail addy. Write me at soliwitch@yahoo.com. Love you lovie. and oooh, here's one of mine I would love to share with you too (forgive the blatant self promo) /pip/Forum82/HTML/002163.html Love you! |
||
|
River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
truly creepy...fit for halloween. good job Serenity, this is a gripping tale...haunted ending...:b- River Love hurts as bad as it feels good. |
||
|
Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
DAmn!!!! you did it again .... I would have given anything to see the pre edit post.... but .... your ending here just puts the icing on that well baked cake.... GULP!!! My mother reads the tarot, and I do a wicked numerology.... I think this takes a fun look at a serious subject.... the ridicule of different beliefs....than our own. You cooked up a good batch here. Sherry |
||
|
mysticpoe Senior Member
since 2003-02-28
Posts 883 |
Nice write, my kind of ending. real nice. poe If nothing is something |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent... |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
blushing curtsey and thank you. |
||
|
coyote Senior Member
since 2001-03-17
Posts 1077 |
Very kewl write, blaze. CB 8) |
||
|
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
