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Dark Poetry #4
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The Big City
| Dark Poetry #4 |
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The Big City |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
I'm planning to build a city It will be massive and beautiful Expensive and thick with a heavy population True ellogance and ettiquet I find my spot of soft perfection A lusty landscape Like a moan from a golden sigh Its snap shot tender I have my wood I have my steel and brick I have my sanity And plenty of books Set up shop Invite the mighty audiences The construction is sound So is the earthquake My beautiful glass skyscrapers crack a little bit Streets are split in two and seperate the lanes The sewer lines burst while gas explodes everywhere The toys at the parks are thrown here and there Just a pause Put it all back Refresh the pretty displays And collect the dead Once again a wall is a wall And the house is a house A fool with a fire mishap the town ablaze A screaming fire truck is lost, at this I'm not amazed Cigarette in hand I get back to work A simple accident in small arithmatic Third ground zero stretched out before A charm is now due and I'm not waiting four Except a jerk with a bomb and pity pity pity I hate these freakin people and this rotten little city I'll make a clean sweep of graves filling plenty Restart afresh this project anew Break the ground lets get to work Everything I need mechanics start the day And for some reason the beasts are caught in dirt I finally understand, I'll just leave the land bare He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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| © Copyright 2004 Kenneth Craig Rogers - All Rights Reserved | |||
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darkness_witch Senior Member
since 2003-12-03
Posts 516Underneath |
this is awesome! i loved how simply you completely changed the poem with the earthquake. loved the rhythm. truly great! love and empathy darkness nirvana means freedom from pain, suffering and the external world. |
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Hollow_Emptiness Senior Member
since 2004-02-01
Posts 715New Zealand |
Great conclusion. You twisted the whole poem around. Wow. Hollow. I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. - Gary Jules, Mad World. |
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River Senior Member
since 2003-09-16
Posts 627my own little world |
Greeny, you where right, this is funny  groovy job tho, I never thought about building a big city before :b.- Riv "Stained by the sun, I can see colors...colors of mercy washing over me." - 3 Minutes From Home |
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Purity Senior Member
since 2001-11-20
Posts 526Once Upon, USA |
You, GIS, could build but one single brick, and all would be entranced in awe. "Look at that incredible brick," they would say; "I bet he could buy a big city with that one!" Creative one you... Lose one friend... Lose all friends... Lose Yourself... |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Again thank you all. One snazzy brick. lol. Thank you Purity. What you said makes me feel pretty good. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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Mad_Hatter Member
since 2003-06-29
Posts 393Canada |
hmm, very imaginative. I liked it. Good lesson in this one  . |
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EveGnosis Member
since 2002-02-21
Posts 300New York, USA |
"i'll make a clean sweep of graves filling plenty". captain cuz, you rule. imagine the sheer unobliterated power of that snazzy brick! lol. yepper, gotta agree! i'll always need a friend, one i can defend. |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Thanx, but I think the lesson was a weak one. Actually I think maybe I should have ended with something like "Break all these fatal obstacles this metropolis will blossom." Giving up is weak and I shouldn't go out that way. Again thanks -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
is this in regards to the presidential debates? *grin* |
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green_itchy_stuff Senior Member
since 2003-06-26
Posts 1929New Caney, Tx |
Nah its about music. I haven't been paying much attention, because either way I'm voting Bush. The other guy can keep his story straight so what makes him think he can run a country. -GIS He has made everything beautiful in its own time. -Ecclesiastes 3:11 |
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