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Dark Poetry #4

Shattered

PainBaneChaos
Member

since 2003-10-17

Posts 150
The point of no return

0 posted 2004-09-02 04:01 PM

It's not the letting go that hurts,
it's the holding on.

Clinging to fruitless aspirations,
hopeless dreams.
Waiting for them to fall apart.
Gripping sharp edges with frail fingers.
White-knuckled and bloody.
Your fingernails bending one by one.
Gritting your teeth stubbornly,
not willing to fall
after you've held for so long.
Then comes the day
when they stomp on your hands,
grind them into the glass.
Pry your fingers from the edge
while you scream in pain.
Until that ledge shatters.

[This message has been edited by PainBaneChaos (09-03-2004 07:24 PM).]

click1
Member

since 2003-03-25

Posts 152
usa

1 posted 2004-09-02 06:59 PM

"gripping sharp edges with frail fingers"

WOW! Well put...

Click

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

2 posted 2004-09-03 12:38 PM

that was well detailed and very well written.great piece of work.

Jesus died that you might live...accept that and u shall be saved.

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

3 posted 2004-09-03 05:29 PM

I loved it.

"Its not the letting go that hurts, it is the holding on"

I dont think i have read anything i agree with more than this. Very amazing write.

Karissa

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

News_From_Nowhere
Member

since 2002-06-14

Posts 173
CU, NY

4 posted 2004-09-05 10:41 AM

The pause between the first line and the rest of your poem was very, very well effective! And "then comes the day when they stomp on your hands"...INDEED! Great write!

"So give life to your dreams, for there lies your survival, and cast your heart beyond those faded scenes, and I'll bring you through the storm

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

5 posted 2004-09-07 02:35 PM

this is amazing, I don't even think you need the last line.

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