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Sunless Dawn
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Sunless Dawn |
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Obscurity Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153In A Melancholic Dream |
I hope it's okay but I wrote it all in free Verse... She paints the fire along the skyline The blistering winds carry the embers to eden As the snow falls, My dying angel cries a silent storm Each night alone, I question if I shall awaken to the sunless dawn Upon the morning, I return to my quest to touch the divine Within the darkened dreams, I curse the forsaken shadows of loves embrace Her whispers ride the flames and carry the echos to the horizon Where should her desires take me, To the pale snowfall To the crimson river To the edge... Here at the edge of this world, Here I dream of the flames and spiritus Here is the widow of love... When my words are withered and torn When her voice is the winds silence, And where the black rain falls... I will believe, That the sunless dawn will rise once more Why should this despair haunt fiercer then fire, And more painful then winters wind? I am the stone, I am the cross, I am the death of man... Paint upon the canvess in the sky, Let the winds carry your whispers to the bleak forests I am the rose in the winter, where no light can reach And I will be lost and forgotten... [This message has been edited by Obscurity (12-04-2003 03:15 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brett Gailey - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
Beautiful. with these words...somehow I doubt you will ever be forgotten. Love, Terri~  Well I will go down with this ship |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Paint upon the canvess in the sky, Let the winds carry your whispers to the bleak forests I am the rose in the winter, where no light can reach And I will be lost and forgotten... This is a beautiful poem. Though it is kind of sad, I enjoyed reading it. I hope to read much more of your work. Welcome to Passions In Poetry. Please check your e-mail for a special greeting from all of us here at Passions. Hugs, Ethel/garysgirl Moderator/Passions In Poetry |
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Obscurity Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153In A Melancholic Dream |
I appreciate the kind replies, and the greeting card. Im really not used to 'nice' replies when I show others my poetry, and I thank you guys for that... Thanks, Obscurity. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
The canvass you have painted on is a masterpiece, The snow is melting off the page, and all the beautiful colors of your heart glows from my screen.... shinning into my eyes and into my soul...sunless you are not... touched by words so well written... WELCOME to your new family...hope you stay! ~ARH  [This message has been edited by A Romantic Heart (12-04-2003 03:48 AM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Hi and welcome to Passions  I love the first post! I'm looking forward to more. |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
this is sad yet beautiful, you have a raw talent that is for sure...welcome to Passions, hope to see more of your work take care. amy  "love is like a butterfly-- |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
I enjoyed this very much as you will find many of our members enjoy free verse. I looke forward to reading more from you. Welcome to Passions, enjoy your time in the pages of blue. |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
Beautiful! melancholy feeling to reading this and I like that a lot. I love the word choices - I'll have to read this one a few times. Welcome! Keep posting. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I enjoyed this introduction to your work very much and look forward to reading more... welcome to Passions! *S* |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Very beautifully written, and never worry about rhyme when you can let your ideas flow this smoothly, coherently, poetically. WELCOME to Passions!  |
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Obscurity Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153In A Melancholic Dream |
Thanks for the criticism and the warm welcome, I look forward to viewing each of your poetry. |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
I came back to read again...hope you don't mind, poetry as delicate as this needs bumped another time... ~ARH |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS! Beautiful entrance post you have gifted us with. I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Let peace begin with me... |
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jaicie114 Senior Member
since 2003-09-27
Posts 750On the edge of forever |
Obscurity... Incredible first post...thank you so much for sharing. And...uhhh...never question the use of "free verse"...especially when it's this awesome! Welcome to PiP! Love and Light...jc This I know as Truth...we are all Beings of Light. |
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Obscurity Member
since 2003-12-04
Posts 153In A Melancholic Dream |
I don't mind the bump, heh. I thankyou all, for reading this... it means alot to me that some people actually enjoy it. If anyone has wants to, or has anything to critique upon, I would be more then welcome to hear it Thankyou so much. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 this poem should NOT be lost in the dark winds [This message has been edited by Midnitesun (12-12-2003 11:32 PM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
   (big hugggsssssss) This is a beautiful but sad debut, dearest friend, I hope all is alright as there should be no sad faces during the holidays and I send angel friendship hugs to bring some holiday warmth and cheer to your heart, God Bless You, we are all so happy to accept you as our friend here! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your wonderful words, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!   May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "You'll find something that's enough to keep you |
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jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
Some beautiful Poetry you've got there, Obscurity. The imageries you painted are simply outstanding. Nice job! Welcome aboard, I do wish you enjoy your time here in Passion. - James |
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dingusjr Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415Missouri |
Let me add my welcome....really enjoyed this and will be looking for more! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah good, someone finally bumped your first post...and I can see that I won't be disappointed in reading future posts. A belated Welcome to Passions! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? |
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