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Open Poetry #30
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Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2004-01-13 01:47 PM


There's no way to redeem myself,
no way to convince you of my worth,
if I felt I had any at all.

The leaves
are leaving
me..
They've skipped the Autumn
color change,
and forgotten
that I
loved to watch the orange
cry among the floor of dirt.

I beg
I plead
I fall on my knees and ask
what was it
in life that I'd done wrong?

What
could it have been,
what sin
did I commit to lose
all that I love and still
keep..
With fear..
I can't hold down
the feeling like
my spine is turning to liquid

..there's nothing I could say
to change what you feel is the inevitable,
no tears could change
the fact
that
I am simply
not good enough.

My love could not hold you like I'd once thought
it did..

And here I lie,
heartbroken in enraged silence..

The leaves
are leaving
me..

And I miss you still.


© Copyright 2004 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2004-01-13 01:54 PM


meg, my darlin...you do not write with ink...your pen spills blood and tears...and you touch me so...h
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-01-13 02:02 PM


My dear lady... to say you were not good enough..can not be truthful. If you gave of yourself in measures that spoke to truly putting someone else before yourself.. you did all you could..and it was not a measure of your worth, but of the lack ability of the other to accept it.

as always you write well.. and the missing.. ah now that I understand..

you are more than good enough... don't forget you have worth and value..and that you sometimes just run across people who get scared by it... or are not in a place they can accept it..

hugs...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-01-13 02:07 PM


"My love could not hold you like I'd once thought
it did..

And here I lie,
heartbroken in enraged silence..

The leaves
are leaving
me..

And I miss you still."

My gawd this just aches!
Fantastic out pouring of feelings here.
Extremely well penned.
Hugs~


    In the midst of winter..
I found there lives within me,
    an invincible summer.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2004-01-13 11:08 PM


Nice writing...James
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-01-13 11:31 PM


Kaoru, nice writing, very expressive; it touched me to the point I want to say what I say to my daughter:  if he doesn't love you, then he IS NOT THE RIGHT ONE and that one will come along!  Love always returns; usually when we least expect it!  
ambrya_nell
Junior Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 28
Ohio
6 posted 2004-01-13 11:59 PM


All I can say is HIS LOSS.... His missing out on a very creative, passionate person... I absolutely love your work... It touches me..... It's hard to evoke such strong emotion with simple typed words on a screen.. but you do it well.

Saunni
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777
West Virginia
7 posted 2004-01-14 12:17 PM


There's no way to redeem myself,
no way to convince you of my worth,
if I felt I had any at all.

How can you say that... just look at yourself, and that beautiful face of yours. Then, you have that extreme talent that is overwhelming! Great write, it is...but I think it's  greater then what you think. Sincerely, Sauni.

Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain.

Serra_Avatar
Member
since 2004-01-11
Posts 58

8 posted 2004-01-14 12:53 PM


Never stop smiling... because you never know who's falling in love with it.


KristieSue
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460
PA, US
9 posted 2004-01-14 11:37 AM


heartfelt...

Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2004-01-14 11:54 AM


..there's nothing I could say
to change what you feel is the inevitable,
no tears could change
the fact
that
I am simply
not good enough.


darn Meg, I've said this to myself so very often, and still do...and still don't have the answers..and wish that no one ever would have to feel this way...but I know this well.....may you feel peace soon hon...hugs....

It's better than I could have planned..
it's made me who I am...
{Trace Adkins}

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2004-01-14 11:56 AM



A very old fashioned feel to this writing, Meghan.  Towards the very end I felt as if I had been thrown back about five or six decades.  So, when are you going to start compiling all of these gems for your book, m'dear?

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
12 posted 2004-01-14 12:34 PM


You're amazing.
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
13 posted 2004-01-14 12:34 PM


What
could it have been,
what sin
did I commit to lose
all that I love and still
keep..
With fear..
I can't hold down
the feeling like
my spine is turning to liquid



Meghan, this is such a heartbreaking write.
It really touched me.
Great big hugs to you, sweetie  
Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-01-14 01:02 PM


gawd!
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

15 posted 2004-01-14 01:32 PM


There's no way to redeem myself,
no way to convince you of my worth,
if I felt I had any at all.

Shame on you...shame..shame shame...if the ol boy had any sense at all, he'd have seen you were priceless and worth every ounce in gold.  

And never ever think otherwise...your a golden array of voice smiling on this place our earth.  

Hugs, wonderful write!

McLean
Member
since 2004-01-05
Posts 484
state of marital bliss
16 posted 2004-01-14 01:36 PM


I can't hold down
the feeling like
my spine is turning to liquid

I especially like the way this sounds.  Cool.  

Your writing is very sad and lonely in tone.  I hope that you are not feeling so blue, and if you are, I do wish you comfort.  You express emotions very well in here!

McLean

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

17 posted 2004-01-14 06:46 PM


I echo Allysa  

M

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
18 posted 2004-01-14 07:07 PM


loved it
Ravenwolfvoyager
Member
since 2003-12-25
Posts 326

19 posted 2004-01-14 07:33 PM


The leaves
are leaving
me..
They've skipped the Autumn
color change,
and forgotten
that I
loved to watch the orange
cry among the floor of dirt.

Yes but the colors will again fold and become new again. It is not an easy trek and I know your journey well. It is difficult but tomorrow will come and your heart will again be new. You write from the soul and your heart, your poetry is touching and inspiring.

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