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Open Poetry #30
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Chi Mae Alone
| Open Poetry #30 |
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Chi Mae Alone |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
You have been gone long now and I stand each morn on way to well waiting for dust to rise over top of distant hill that my hope might find water to drink in this parched time of absence You said I was pretty when at 13 we were wed do you still these years later find in me beauty or do you sleep with the daughters of the ones who open their houses as you journey from here to the sea and back finding more in there unblemished skin and thin arms to please you than there is in me? I came to this place a child and miss you now as I did when at 16 you fought bandits along the border for months and I knew not if you would return Will growing old be this way too or will you stay on your return and let the lotus bloom seduce you to me? |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"You have been gone long now and I stand each morn on way to well waiting for dust to rise over top of distant hill that my hope might find water to drink in this parched time of absence" Hope and yet fear of hopelessness... Perfect blend.  But that is how you always do it."if you won't let me fall for you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thanks Susan.. hope always has a measure of fear.. and balancing the two, often a difficult thing to do. appreciate the words... and thanks for the read.. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Nice writing...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
growing old... this write makes me think |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I don't even know how to respond to this....  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
A delicate tale. Your writing made me visualize this woman standing there - waiting. Excellent as always Cpat!  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I'll have some of that tea, please. The eternal question... in whose heart is it ever answered? |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sweet....you captured a pretty but wistful spirit here, and showed her clearly but voluptuously, like Vermeer in love. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Perception (or perspective) noted..."alone" translates easily as would any universal emotion. It'd be interesting to see this taken further, into places more uniquely belonging to this voice. But then, as we so often discuss...I'm easily entertained.  |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I have read this many times, and I cant find the right words....but you already know....  hugsssssLauren~ ~*~ |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
I really enjoyed this; it sparked my curiousity as I read - good story |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
This is magnificent Ron..absolutely! you're amazing. I'm keeping it. M Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank to you all.. for the nice words and for taking time out to read this small offering... your time and kindness are appreciated. |
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