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Open Poetry #29
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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2003-10-17 07:33 AM


Night Train

There are no words that can explain
The night train of my dreams of blain
The suffering, the whoosh of time
The shadow of the pantomime

The ache that over takes my heart
The beginning, the end of start
The cascade water riots rush
The horror of the thoughts and flush

The terror of the acid spill
The seething of the blisters will
And sorry will not end the night
Or clean the feathers of the flight.

And though I dip the changing brew
I cannot sooth the thought of you
Nor can I make a words amend
To round the bend and make an end

And so I die an arrows flight
And disappear into the night

© Copyright 2003 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
1 posted 2003-10-17 07:45 AM


That was some ride! Gosh, you really do need to half a nice cup of hot milk with some vanilla and honey, before you hit the sack at night!

Your writing was so incredibly descriptive that I felt as though I was on that "Night Train" with you!

Begone, mares of night! Only sweet dreams for my sweetie pie tumbleweed!

Sey, you're one fine poet!


Linda

[This message has been edited by Earth Angel (10-17-2003 09:08 AM).]

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2003-10-17 07:49 AM


Earth Angel
And you are one sweet Angel.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2003-10-17 07:51 AM


Hey Sy

Good images throughout.
You're problem is ....not enough brew......

Eric your 5 cent therapist.....

Seriously a real good write....Love the title!

Ain't doin nothin at all
Just answerin the call
Kinda driftin away from it all~~~~~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2003-10-17 07:54 AM


ethome
Your comments are a pleasure. Thank you

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-10-17 08:30 AM



You've got to shoot those arrows
straight and true
in the new daylight
towards the blue...



Good morning, Sy!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2003-10-17 08:53 AM


"And though I dip the changing brew
I cannot sooth the thought of you
Nor can I make a words amend
To round the bend and make an end

And so I die an arrows flight
And disappear into the night"

Morning Sy!
Oooh this one calls for a special blend this morn.
It's ready and I'll pour.
Loved the read today.
~morning hugs & tea, Nancy~

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-10-17 09:24 AM


The cascade water riots rush
The horror of the thoughts and flush

           ~~~~~~~

The terror of the acid spill
The seething of the blisters will
And sorry will not end the night
Or clean the feathers of the flight.

===============================


Look at you making poetry rock and roll...
You got your own rhyme riot going on here Sy-babes and as aching and blistering as this rhyme ride is...it's just so cleverly written that it makes me smile at the poet who wrote it.


The cascade water riots rush
The horror of the thoughts and flush


You are the King of way cool couplets!!

Now get off that train..get on Randy and get over here for raspberry tea. LOL
How about a horse carriage ride under the Arch? I know a gray dapple that will steal Randys heart. *winkiewinkie*




nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2003-10-17 09:31 AM


Laughing at JM's "rhyme riot"  which is so true...

M

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2003-10-17 09:32 AM


Sunshine
Good morning love. Hugs

Nancy,
sounds good to me, be right over.

JM,
It's raspberry tea for me and Randy can share some oats with the dapple.
WWRS

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
10 posted 2003-10-17 09:33 AM


Maureen,
Thanks for the comment and read.

[This message has been edited by Seymour Tabin (10-17-2003 09:36 AM).]

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2003-10-17 12:02 PM


Sy....Hearing the train at night is such a lonely feeling..why is that?  The imagery in this aching poem is so beautiful.  Loved it!


angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
12 posted 2003-10-17 12:09 PM


Sy, I remember the nights when I lived by the track and would listen to the trains at night.This was awesome.
Crystal

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
13 posted 2003-10-17 01:16 PM


Martie
Thank you sweety.

angelblueyes
Enjoyed your comment, thanks.

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
14 posted 2003-10-17 08:01 PM


Fabulous writing here Seymour.

Take care.......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2003-10-17 08:04 PM


Always enjoy your words....never ceasing to
give us a morsel,  each one different from
the last.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
16 posted 2003-10-17 10:24 PM


Barry,
Sometimes a morsel is better then a loaf.

Suetang
Thank you so much for the read and reply.

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