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Open Poetry #29
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Midnight Blue
| Open Poetry #29 |
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Midnight Blue |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA 
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In Midnight Blue she did arrive upon the stage of stars in glow. As shivers came in passion’s flight toward the waiting falling snow. Gown of glitter, a purse of silk shoes of crystal, small, clear and pure. Lips that might draw my eyes away, ever taunting, yet so demure. She basked upon the flowing beam of stars and moons of heaven birth. A goddess pure, of diamond weight. born of the skies above the earth. As lust would fill the craving soul, as passions poured into the seas. Where visions came, and flew away, her goal to haunt and not to please. On feathered wings of white appeal, and dashing hopes of dreamer’s skies. She comes and goes, a life surreal beyond the moon’s soft trembling sighs. [This message has been edited by Magnus (10-12-2003 12:51 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Oooh... the ending caught me by surprise. I love when that happens. The imagery you used throughout had a rather spooky element, and in the ending it seems like you're implying that she's a ghost, or an angel of some sort, I don't know if you were just being fancy or trying to reveal that to be true. Either way, this was nicely written. The only criticism I'd offer is that maybe you could touch up your meter a little bit in some places. It's all up to you, though. Parasite Faith is a fine invention When gentlemen can see But microscopes are prudent In an emergency. ~~~Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (10-12-2003 12:47 PM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
"All that glitters..." Sometimes a diamond in the rough shines even better. Nice verse, PI..  |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Thanx Nan, yes, sometimes it does and is.. eh? LP. thanx for waking me up.....I got in a hurry and missed a couple of spots.... Appreciate the comment and critique... |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Hmmm...I would say this is a slice of heaven. I guess I just did! LOL How perfect...flow, rhyme, images. You are on a roll, Barry. Patricia |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Magnus...A tremendously beautiful poem. Mystical...like many of my Native American poems. Outstanding imagery in this poem, as well. Five stars, my friend!!! ***** Ivy Rose |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 BEAUTIFUL!another keeper for my treasure chest |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) I too loved the surreal imagery throughout, sweet friend, at first I too thought it was an angel, then by the end it felt like a ghost or poltergeist that melted away in the floodlights of the stars! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Barry, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice |
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