navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » Volleydance
Open Poetry #28
Post A Reply Post New Topic Volleydance Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

0 posted 2003-08-12 01:22 AM



Volleydance

Under the stands for the finals,
bikini girls peek through at the match
and they rock out in the time outs,
but they don’t get up to dance.

Oh they squirm to the pounding rhythm,
nudge each other to inaudible giggles
like a stream of inside jokes,
while the air quivers with the blast,
but they never get up to dance.

They’re watching the volleyball all right,
but the time outs are the main draw here,
when the music roars and they dance, dance,
all of them sitting down. Me, I’m watching both,
palms jammed in over my ears, just gritting
while the MondoBass wobbles my chest.

I just don’t feel the joy they do;
there’s a score here, and I don’t get it.
Until I read the tags that is, all the news
spelled out in rattling black and white:
Bikini girls sitting down to dance, all rocking it
on a stack of earth-shaking thousand-watt
subwoofers -- perfect match.


© Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2003-08-12 04:06 AM


"I just don't feel the joy they do"

good descriptive writing Ed

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
2 posted 2003-08-12 07:54 AM


well I use to play volleyball on a semi-pro league in my better shape days, but I don't remember ever dancing unless it was at their banquet functions... I don't believe this is what you are writing about

M

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
3 posted 2003-08-12 09:22 AM


That little scene reminded me of icebox's story about his motorbike....and the effect that the vibrations of its motor had on female passengers...... Those young ladies were, uh, feeling the beat......

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2003-08-12 03:44 PM


This is NOT what they show when I watch volleyball on TV! LOL You've painted such an incredible picture I'm not sure whether I should smile at the bikini girls in their volleydance... or grin at your discomfort... I can't applaud cause my hands are over my ears, too... the scene is that vivid! *S*
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2003-08-12 05:06 PM


Hi there... love the imagery here and I could also feel the boom boom boom heh. Very vivid writing Ed...enjoyed

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking  smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)


Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
6 posted 2003-08-12 06:53 PM


Damn, that's pretty cool!


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » Volleydance

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary