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Open Poetry #28
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It's not about you anymore
| Open Poetry #28 |
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It's not about you anymore |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA 
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You have become a size to small and I, a size too big the lock the way we used to fit.... ....moulded for hours set never leaving for home on time King of sleep with arms around my shoulders I squirmed annoyed fighting your heavy limbs to get out I never could close my eyes the room so heavy with echoes of when you were awake Finishing books watching hours pleading with noise to wake you up for I never did like to Remember the sombre mood of train station goodbyes wanting my hand in your pocket to become all of me We never fit where we most want to time never allows The train was always late cold bit at loose fingers and thumbs I laughed at your red ears and you at my nose I wasted precious time believing we were on time believing you were the last stop Confession~ I always knew you were someone I wanted to get to know Facing old station clock walking footsteps over where I walked with you time makes me warm to us even though it shouldn't it does Maybe I can because It's not about you anymore Next crossing closer than never. Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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| © Copyright 2003 gj - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Facing old station clock walking footsteps over where I walked with you time makes me warm to us even though it shouldn't it does Maybe I can because It's not about you anymore Next crossing closer than never. perhaps...it is that when we know th ewarmth and know it without the chill regret wind blowing on our heart..we understand it isn't about them anymore... nicely done Gem |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
gemdrops, I do believe this to be my favorite piece of writing of yours--and that is say a GREAT deal!!! I could see it all playing out in my mind as reel, I mean "real", as if I were there observing it all. You also were able to make me feel what you were feeling. An absolutely awesome write and a  .I just read Ethel's poem (We Know Not What Tomorrow Will Bring) and it is my favorite of hers as well! There must be something in the air!--if so, I better start deep breathing! lol  LL [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-15-2003 12:03 PM).] |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
oh what an awesome write, you never cease to amaze me...gem, you are a gem! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"wanting my hand in your pocket to become all of me" This is the voice of lost longing, gemma... if contentment can be hungry, you have expressed that. Excellent write. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"We never fit where we most want to time never allows" It does seem that way...but maybe this isn't the lifetime...another perhaps..or else we wouldn't be here...*sigh* what do I know? I did love this... Susan |
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ctowen Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286Green Mountains of VT |
I can not help but hear a distant whistle of a passing train ... ... heading no where, very lonely ... I am told that we must move forward to find the right time ... never did get a hand on it 'til now. Beautiful and timeless! |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
We never fit where we most want to time never allows Gemma, my friend, I think this is your best I've ever read. I'm keeping it, too, so I can read it over and over again.  Hey, did you notice that we both posted poems about "time" today? Of course, yours is much, much better than mine. See you later, sweet lady  Hugs  Ethel |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
this is definitely a beautiful piece that I'll be sure to keep so that I can read again *note you are the first being added to my library :-p "Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare." -Japanese Proverb |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
we never fit w here we most want to Amen.. |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
Gemma- This is absolutely great.. and all too sad at the same time. I completely understand these feelings. Great job. We are all equal but we’re individually different |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Beautiful, forlorn words here... |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"I never could close my eyes the room so heavy with echoes of when you were awake Finishing books watching hours pleading with noise to wake you up for I never did like to Remember the sombre mood of train station goodbyes wanting my hand in your pocket to become all of me We never fit where we most want to time never allows" Gem, this has to be one of your best.. Going to my library. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Wow, thankyou so, so much. Each reply means so much, I hope you know, you are all too kind. I found myself re writing the end, as for a while there, i had to tell myself to get a grip, cos i got so caught up, i nearly wrote something i don't really believe any more.  I remember him softly, despite how I sometimes think I want to throttle him.  Instant karma's gonna get you. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Gemma~ I read this earlier ... was caught with a bad case of remember and couldn't find the words for the tears in my eyes~ Honey, this is what being a poet is all about, the pour of soul~ You've done it so, so well~ Thank you for being a poetess~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I liked those last four stanzas...and all the rest of it of course  And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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MorninGlory Member
since 2003-08-30
Posts 175Oklahoma |
this is excellent! So much to say, you have.. and I like the way you use the italics and bold to make your point. This is very nice indeed. ~ becky |
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